Just a joke?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Just a joke?
2
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 11:05am

My boyfriend has been living out of his parents house for over 6 years. His parents live an hour away by train. He was home for the holidays and visits once in a while, but hasn't been able to get out there since the holidays as he's trying to find a new job, and a new apartment. We've been dating over 8 months now, and I met his parents once several months ago. Here's the problem. The other day he told me that he was talking to his mother while he was getting ready to see me and she asked if he was getting ready to see "that stupid girl". Up until that point, I thought his mother liked me. Meeting his parents went extremely well and they had nothing but good things to say about me.


First he told me that she was just jealous that I get to see him and she doesn't. The more I thought about what she said, the more it upset me. Everyone I talk to about it has the same reaction "WHAT?! Why did he even tell you?!?!" He doesn't seem to get why its such a big deal. He says she didn't mean anything by it. When I brought it up again, he said that his family jokes like that about lots of people, including all of his sisters ex boyfriends...even one she was engaged to.


The part that bothers me the most, is that he doesn't understand why this upsets me. He thinks its normal and acceptable behavior, and I do not. I'm worried that this is a sign we are just on different pages (I have been having similar doubts about other issues). Is this something minor that I should just drop (we don't get anywhere discussing it because we just keep saying the same things). Or is it something I should seriously consider as I evaluate the relationship and whether its worth pursuing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: linds2984
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 11:14am

It probably wasn't a joke. If it was, he wouldn't have felt the need to tell you about it. I know people who have weird senses of humor, but none of them would call someone "stupid" just for the hell of it. But it was a mean thing to say and it would have been better for her to keep it to herself, and best if he hadn't mentioned it.

My advice to you is to hold your head up and continue acting like you have been. Don't let that one comment bring you down. Some people just have no class.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: linds2984
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:15pm

Welcome to the board linds2984,


Even if it was a joke, lots of people convey their true feelings through jokes.