Not really a problem, but a situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Not really a problem, but a situation
9
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 6:47am

My b/f of 1.5 years has serious chronic back pain.


He refuses to get the surgery that has been suggested.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2005
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 8:02am
You're right, and I think you should tell him how you feel. I can't imagine only seeing my boyfriend once a week. I've found that in relationships, you have to speak up about your feelings, because if you don't, things will only get worse. good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 11:59am
Your boyfriend is putting fishing before you. It seems like you may take the relationship more seriously than he is. It is time to have a serious conversation about what each of you wants out of the relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 12:27pm

Oh boy - I just sent him a very lengthy text telling him that he is pushing himself, hurting his back more and he won't be able to see anyone!

Missy
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 12:52pm

I can't say strongly enough how bad an idea it is to bring up/discuss important relationship issues by text!


At least have a phone call if you can't wait to say what you have to say in person--which would be the best option by far.


In any event, it sounds to me like this situation of only seeing each other once a week is temporary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 3:02pm

Yes you are so right about having other support in place.


He has told me that himself many times.

Missy
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 3:27pm

I think you are on dangerous turf with that "if you loved me" stuff.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 7:33pm
Honestly, for a woman that has grown children you sound like a teenager playing games. You two should sit down and talk openly about what a relationship means to you and if you are a good fit for each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 7:57pm

Thanks for being there for me today northwestwanderer!


There are alot of underlying issues I have here.


Anyway, we talked at length tonight and you are absolutely right it has been a situational thing for the past month and it was wearing on me big time and I did

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sat, 02-23-2008 - 9:11pm

Honestly, I am a woman (not grown - probably mentally about 17) and just because

Missy