PROBLEM WITH BOYFRIEND AND HIS SISTER

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
PROBLEM WITH BOYFRIEND AND HIS SISTER
7
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 3:48pm

Hi,


I was having a problem with my boyfriend over the holiday not wanting to come to my house


for a holiday dinner.

HOT AND BOTHERED JW1958
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 3:56pm

"Well, nosey me - I always check his e-mails when I'm at his house just to keep tabs on him."

Why would you do this? Most people who trust one another do not need to "keep tabs" on one another.

Should you feel betrayed? No, it's his sister. She has no loyalty to you, she "belongs" to him first and foremost. I've also learned the hard way to completely keep siblings (yours and theirs) out of your relationship problems.

If you want to continue dating him in light of the fact that he doesn't seem to be that into you, you should ignore his sister as much as possible and take her words with a grain of salt.

This doesn't look like the most promising relationship to continue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 4:06pm

Well, we just started talking generally, then she acted like she was on my side.


telling me, Oh I know how he is,

HOT AND BOTHERED JW1958
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 4:19pm

Welcome to the board jw1958,


I think the best thing to do is keep your problems with your bf between you and him. Getting other family members involved -especially his- can just make things more difficult.


Also why do you feel the need to keep taps on him by checking his email?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 4:24pm

Well, I don't really talk to her that much, but we e-mailed and one thing led to another.


I mean she's a nice person, not nasty or mean.

HOT AND BOTHERED JW1958
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 4:50pm

Wait, you just said in your original post that you do it to keep tabs on him. I understand you've been cheated on before, many of us have, but it's not right to treat other men with the same mistrust. I definitely wouldn't be thrilled to have someone snooping through my Email under the excuse that someone ELSE has cheated on him before. It's not fair, knowwham'sayin?

His sister sounds a little bit two-faced, even if she wasn't being malicious, and maybe she's a little too interested in relationship drama. But yeah it's probably best to distance yourself from her a bit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 12:09pm
I had my boyfriend's brother ask him the same thing, isn't it time to end things? It hurt so bad, but he loved me and it made no difference what his family had to say about it. It was a bad call on his part to tell me about the conversation.
I've kind of been there with my SIL, too. I have to watch what I say to her because she is his family, not mine. Of course she's going to listen to me and be friendly, but I think if it comes down to it, blood is thicker than water. I think that's how it should be, too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 1:30pm

Yeah, blood is thicker than water.

HOT AND BOTHERED JW1958