how do I live with this pain

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
how do I live with this pain
11
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 3:04pm

I have been married for 17 years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 3:32pm

Welcome to the board befriendme,


I am confused. Did he started another business? How could her rehire her?


I don't blame you for being upset. Is there a way since he can't fire her that she could get a different position and not work so closely with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 3:45pm
No he didn't start a new business, he took a
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 4:28pm
He needs to be more concerned with your wellbeing. Have you pointed this out to him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 4:51pm
In so many words, yes I did, however I don't think he fully understands how this plagues me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 5:29pm
No from the information you have provided I don't think you are overreacting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 03-05-2008 - 11:09pm

Welcome to the board befriendme,


No you are are not crazy or over-reacting. His behavior with an empolyee and comments he's made about her were unprofessional, inappropriate and way out of line.


::Of course

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 11:54am

Thank you so much for validating me and my feelings, I am unable to talk to anyone about this in fear of worrying relatives and friends, and I don't want to tarnish his reputation as well.


I've actually told him that I thought he was having and emotional affair with this person and he assures me he is not.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 8:44pm

You do not have to live with this and should not. It's not an appropriate relationship and not at all respectful to you. He absolutely can and should fire her. If he doesn't, he is not respecting you. You have a real situation here, because you have every right to make this request/demand of him. It seems as if you have not been able to stand up for yourself in the past, or to acknowledge that you had a right to feel the way you did. Boundaries were not set. However, just because you didn't do it in the past doesn't mean you should not do it now. Create good boundaries, develop self esteem. Clearly, you can't do this out of the blue and so I strongly suggest that you see a fine therapist who will help you in this matter. You need guidance in receiving the respect you so richly deserve, not only from him but from yourself.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 11:11am

You have every right to be disappointed, hurt and concerned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 6:51pm
If I ask him to fire her, he will say that it is

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