Pushing love away

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Pushing love away
3
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 1:33am

I recently just ended a relationship with my first love. It's been a really trying period in my life, I'm only 21, but I feel like i'm ending a chapter of my life. My ex was someone I had dealt with since I was 16. Anyways, when we broke up, which was mutual, he said something that has stayed on my mind. I asked him if he cared at all about the feelings we had for each other, and the love he said he had for me.


And he answered: "It doesn't matter. None of that matters anymore. It doesn't matter how I feel, because you don't care."


I just don't really understand why he would feel that way. How can you push feelings aside for someone if you truly love them? This makes me feel as if he never cared, but then I remember some things that he's done for me and I know that can't be true. I guess I just need help with letting it go. We broke up 3 weeks ago, but I've called about 3 times since then. He hasn't answered or called back. Which I also don't understand, but I guess he's more hurt than I realize or simple doesn't care. I'm so confused, even more so because we've broken up many times in the past, but always get back together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2007
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 9:11am

YOU ended the relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 1:41pm

Welcome to the board justlikeu2008,


The break up was mutual?

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 6:19pm

It sounds as though he is trying to really break up this time, and that is why he's not answering your calls, and also why he's not allowing himself to remember the good feelings and good times. It's hard to stay apart when you do. So, he's remembering the harder times and also staying away in an effort to really let this go.


Perhaps you might do well to talk to a counselor to sort out your feelings and get help in moving on as well.


All good wishes,