Madonna/ whore syndrome

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Madonna/ whore syndrome
4
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 9:16am
I have been dating a man for about six months now. The relationship is incredible and we get along great and have a wonderful sex life. However, he has consistently wanted our relationship to remain an open one instead of a monogamas one. He has stated that he has not always been faithful and does not want to dissapoint or hurt another woman so he feels that if we remain open to be with other people it avoids this dissapointment. As we become closer and it is evident that we love eachother I was confused by his need to look outside the relationship for satisfaction. This past week a conversation occured that shed quite a bit of light on the situation. He has made statements that cetain acts of sex were reserved for tramps or bad girls and that I was the one he loved and wanted to be around his children putting me in a different catagory. My realization was that although at this time our sex life with eachother is great that if he has this type of thinking I will never be able to satisfy all his needs. Is there any way to make him realize that I can satisfy him in all aspects of life and to help him overcome this madonna/whore syndrome?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 11:29am

Welcome to the board ninc2008,


::Is there any way to make him realize that I can satisfy him in all aspects of life and to help him overcome this madonna/whore syndrome?


I don't believe you can him change this part of him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 1:31pm
If he wanted to be able to have all of his needs satisfied by one woman, he would have found a way to change his thinking by now. The reason he has allowed himself to stay with that line of thinking is because it's NOT important to him. He would rather have the freedom to come and go in and out of a relationship as he pleased. You will never be able to satisfy all his needs because he's not looking to get all of his needs satisfied by you. He won't in the future either. You are better off letting him go and freeing yourself from this relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 1:48pm

Welcome to the board ninc2008,


I agree with what rosewater said. However, if you really want to make this work than sit down with him and tell him that you want to be able to satifsy all his needs both inside and outside of the bedroom. He will let you know if that is possible or not. If not, and you are not okay with that than you need to rethink the relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 5:30pm
If you can, you need to determine if he actually has a problem with having sex with you that he wouldhave with other women that he classifies as "nasty" - for instance, does he go limp or have trouble keeping an erection? Or..is he using this as an excuse to fool around?