Should I try again?
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| Thu, 06-05-2008 - 6:04pm |
Need some advice/opinions....
I've been lurking the boards for a while, read all the resources, etc... but haven't really seen my issue and I'm looking for opinions
I was with my bf for about 2.5 years when he hooked up with a girl one night.We were just starting college when it happened. Its been over 2 years since that incident. He says they didn't sleep together but regardless, he betrayed me. We worked thru things for a while but eventually the distance and lack of trust just changed my outlook on whether i was wasting my time or not. I think I was just waiting to get hurt again and wanted to get out before I did.
Its been almost a year since we broke up, but we never did the NC thing, we were good friends for so long and just seemed to have a hard time maybe breaking away. We have stayed "friends". We have not had any kind of physical relationship, but have gone out to dinner maybe 3 times in this last year just to catch up when we're both in town. He has been very clear that he wants to get back together but he understands that his actions have caused my feelings to change.
Regardless, he has tried very hard to show me his remorse. So this is my question- how do I know if I should try again? I admit I am fighting with myself. I know I deserve better, he has shown me that he has learned from this experience. I am scared to death to give him my heart again, and not even sure if I want to.
How do I sort thru these feelings to figure out what is right? I dont want my fear to overshadow having our relationship back, and I think showing me his remorse for over 2 years without dating anyone else does show committment. Yet Im scared and wonder if I have feelings that I am surpressing. Any advice?

Welcome to the board xxlostgirlxx,
Healing betrayal usually takes professional help, due to those doubts, shadows and fears. Most people cannot work through them on their own.
You might find this interesting:
Getting Back Together - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=22969.1
The fact is, beginning college is a hard time for high school relationships.
It always takes
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.