Single , newly divorced dad

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2008
Single , newly divorced dad
7
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 8:16am

I have been seeing this man for afew months. I was abit wary of a single dad but he was totally upfront from start with kids, how long he had been separated, that he had dated for 8 months year before (I didn't want to be his first experience after his marriage ending).Been having a great, fun time as you should when your at the start of a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 3:55pm

Welcome to the board aoceanview,


::Afew weeks ago my partner started to withdraw due to finalising settlement/divorce (he has been separated for 2 yrs and has kids).


This happens a lot.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 1:38pm

This doesn't sound good and I wouldn't be waiting around for him hoping things will come together. The fact that he's put up a site shows that he wants to meet other women - whether he calls them friends or not. It's not something one does if they are happy in a relationship. It's something one does when they consider themselves single and looking. Also, if a relationship is going well, the two usually get closer during difficult times. This is a time to support one another and bond more deeply, not to run away. It truly does not sound to me as though he is ready for another real "relationship", and probably just needs much more time to be on his own. If I were you, I'd forget about him, and move on.


Best wishes,

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-16-2008 - 8:43pm

If you didn't discuss the parameters of the break, then I could see how he thinks it's ok to post a profile looking for 'friends'.


If dating other people in the meantime was not what you had in mind, then I think you should definitely discuss it with him.


Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2008
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 4:34am

HI Sheri,


Thanks for your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 11:51am

My advice for the newly divorced is this - don't start dating until two years pass from the date the divorced is finalized and recorded in court.


For those dating the newly divorced - don't buy into "I was divorced in my heart", or "We were separated for yyy months before divorcing".

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 12:15pm

Sounds like it was a very good thing that you decided to go over and talk to him. Communication is a very big thing in relationship and many times people don't realize that they are understanding what each other is really say.


Best of luck to you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 12:33pm
I honestly believe that it is too soon for him to be dating and that he should concentrate on his kids now. He isn't ready for a relationship. Maybe you should find someone who is so you will have the same needs in a relationship.