Breaking Up before Marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2002
Breaking Up before Marriage
6
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 2:54pm
hello...i have written a few posts here but wanted to write again because i'm still not doing well...it's been 8 days of no contact with my ex boyfriend. i saw him 8 days ago and we had a beautiful passionate day - loving, tender, told each other how much we loved each other. then he told me that he needed to be alone - he had a girflriend for 7 years, single for 1 year and then with me for three years. we had been talking about marriage and he got freaked out under pressure. so now we aren't talking. do you think if i give him space he will miss me and come back for me? i know he loves me still - and neither one of us hurt or betrayed the other. i feel like i walk around as half of myself. i won't call him bc i know i have to give him space...BUT...i used to call him all the time and tell him how much i love him...do you think he misses me? notices i'm not there? how much time do you think it will take for him to miss me or figure out that he loves me and wants me back? is there even a chance of this? do couples break up and then get back together and get married? maybe some guys just get scared?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 3:43pm

We can't read his mind. Do you have any reason to not take his words to heart?


'we had been talking about marriage and he got freaked out under pressure. so now we aren't talking.'


What did he say when he freaked out? Was he clear about breaking up? Did he say he just needed time apart?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2002
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 3:50pm
he said he needed time alone because he had been in relationships for so long. he said that he wasn't ready for marriage and didn't know why. he said he thought that the time alone would help him figure it out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 4:07pm
I am sorry I can tell that you are having a hard time with this break up, but we can't tell you that he will come back to you because it is impossible to know that. Just know that you are doing the best thing that you can do by giving him the space that he needs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2002
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 4:20pm
but if a man gets space, does he usually come back? does space help?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 5:18pm
It all depends on the person and relationship. Sometimes they come back and sometimes they don't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 7:16pm
If