dont know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
dont know what to do
16
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 8:52pm
my boyfriend and i have been together for a little over 4 years now. last saturday we got into a fight and he said that we broke up but i did not know about that. well now when i ask him if we are together he says i dont know or i guess. also when i tell him i love him he says okay. when i ask him if he loves me he says i guess or i dont know. he has recently changed all of his interests and made a "guys night" EVERY friday, saturday, and sunday...also he wont let me see his phone or anything that is his. i cant even look at anything in his truck. what is wrong with him or us? can somebody help me? i want to save our relationship

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 8:58pm

Sounds as though he has met someone else or just isn't interested.

Have you told him that you want to work on the relationship? You guys need to have a serious discussion about whether or not you're going to continue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 9:10pm
he wont give me an answer for anything cause he gets made when i ask questions. sunday thru wednesday of this week we were doing really really good but wednesday night this started again and i just called to talk to him and i told him that i loved him and he said do you? and i was like yes i do do you love me and he was like i guess. i am really worried because we have a camping trip june 30 and he hasnt even tried to get anything together. i really need help
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 9:20pm
i also forgot to add that he has been asking what if questions like what would you do if i wanted a break or what would you do with the dog if we broke up BUT he says that he was just wondering this stuff incase it would happen one day but not anytime soon
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 9:49pm
I'm really sorry, lhs, but it sounds like he's checking out of the relationship. Either he is interested in someone else, but wants to keep you as a fall-back in case it doesn't work out, or he is not sure how to undo four years and is hoping you'll do the dirty work for him. Four years is a long time--how old are the two of you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Fri, 06-20-2008 - 10:15pm
19 & 21 is there anyway i can make this better
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 12:06am

Well, I wouldn't ask him if he loved me ever again. That's never a good question unless you're saying "uz oo wuv me too" in a cutesy baby voice, in which case it's a fine question but disgusting to witness.

In your specific case, I'd also stop telling him you love him. Love is a two way street. If he wants a casual relationship, give him casual.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 1:15am

Welcome to the board lhs2007,


I agree with all the advice you got, from he's either seeing someone else, interested in someone else, no longer interested in you or hoping you will do the breaking up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 2:26am
My advice would be to sit him down and have a frank discussion. Tell him it's obvious he's completely turned on a dime and that you are dissatisfied with your current relationship. Ask him to be completely honest with you about what he sees for the future. If he doesn't show emotion, or doesn't have any answers, it's time to leave. You're allowing him to lead you on. You deserve better. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 8:08am
I'm sorry, you may have to consider this one over. A relationship is gone if you're the only one who cares about fixing it.
He's pushing you away, probably because he wants you to get fed up enough to dump him so that he doesn't have to.
Stop the I-love-yous, tell him that you can't go on like this and it's over. Then, actually move on from him.
Trust me, the longer you stay the more resentful and unhappy you will become. You really do not want to stay with someone who doesn't love you anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 12:06pm
hey yall! other than i guess to a question he says he doesnt say he loves me cause i already know. he also says that he isnt sure if he wants to be in the relationship cause i am "smart mouthed" well i never have anytime to talk so im not that way. he loves to start fights and say that i started them and play victim. i told him that i felt he didnt love me anymore and stuff and he told me that im crazy and giggled. i love him so much that if he were to cheat on me i would forgive him. we have had plans to be with each other for the rest of our lives. and now he has changed. truely i believe that his cousins are behind this whole thing because he told me that he loved me before they came up yesturday but it was only one time and i didnt even say it first it was kindof a

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