Tried Friendship Thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2008
Tried Friendship Thing
7
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 11:55am

Hello,


My boyfriend and I were together for about 10 months and in the course of that time, he kissed a girl after we were together for about 6 months. I was livid and had a terrible time trusting him. He did everything he could to make things right again but I was so hurt and angry (and didn't know how to deal) that I lashed out at him for everything he said and did.


So, a month ago, he broke up with me. It wasn't after he broke up with me that I realized all this but at that point, it was too late. After meeting up one last time, I gave him his space and didn't contact him any way until he was ready to talk.


2 weeks later, he emailed me a joke that started a dialogue between us. We decided to try and be friends and see where it goes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 1:22pm

Welcome to the jcgirl19,


Before being friends, usually each of you would need to heal significantly before moving into the 'friends' zone and being comfortable with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2008
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 3:16pm

Thanks for your input. I think the more frustrating thing for me right now is that I feel lik I'M there, but he's not. But I don't think he recognizes that he's not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 5:59pm
I have never seen a relationship take a step backwards and survive. IMO either you are in it or you are not...the friendship thing is just a lot of hooey.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-21-2008 - 6:21pm

I think with an ex, you either need to be strictly platonic friends (and it's far too soon for that in your situation) or you need to be ready to try again 110%.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 12:19pm
I never was able to grasp the "let's be friends" concept.

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2008
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 1:54pm

When you put it so simply like that, you're right. It doesn't make sense. But you have to take into account all the emotions and love that did (and to some degree, still do)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Mon, 06-23-2008 - 3:57pm
Oh absolutely...this isn't an easy road.

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again