Should I Cancel......

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Should I Cancel......
9
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 12:01pm

I am at my ropes end.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2008
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 12:21pm

Do not cancel. It is your day and if he can't understand that, his problem. I am in a relationship where he has custody of two of his children and although I do compromise and give up smaller things in a pinch for him. He never has asked nor would he expect for me to give up plans like that so he could fish or any other non essential thing. emergency or work related...of course...and that is very different. Fishing...not a chance.

I am sorry, it is wrong for him to even ask that.

Go, have a great day, enjoy yourself and let him stay home with the kids this time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2008
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 1:03pm

DO NOT CANCEL!!! You are right, this is your day, your birthday celebration that I am sure you have been looking forward to and excited about. I would definatly not tell him they are HIS kids not YOURS. That is harsh and mean and will start a rift for no reason. You sound like you have been handling the kids situation very well, and technically, they are not your responsibility. If you two were married, that may be a different story.


I take it from your post, that you have been nothing but supportive with his children and his living situation. Again, if you don't have a sitter, it should not be your responsibility. Right now, as his girlfriend, you are a supporter of the situation, not the sitter. Since you have done it before (watch the kids), he may expect you to do it when he has plans, but you need to celebrate your birthday and have your day!!!


It would be smart not to watch his kids ALL THE TIME, because like I said earlier, he expects you to do it for him. Not a good thing.


Don't worry about it, if he can't find a sitter, he will have to reschedule his weekend because he has kids and he needs to take care of them. Go and have fun!! He will get over it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!


Sara

"Seek to understand and you will be understood"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 1:31pm

Do NOT reschedule!! Your time with your mother is very important and you shouldn't sacrifice your time with her.

You're his girlfriend; not his babysitter. If he wants to go fishing then he will need to pay for a babysitter. If he doesn't want to spend the money, then he will need to stay home. But it is very unfair for him to expect you to change his plans to accommodate him.

For what it's worth, it's irrelevant that your plans with your mom are because of your birthday. You should never cancel your plans to babysit his kids (unless there was a real emergency and he had to go to the hospital, etc.)

If he gets mad at you because you won't cancel on your mother or tries to make you feel guilty, then that's a red flag that you should pay close attention to.

Happy birthday & enjoy your bonding day with your mom!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2008
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 2:11pm

Sara....


I know I am not WRONG in thinking that I shouldn't cancel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2008
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 2:17pm

There is no reason you should bend. You sound like such a supportive girlfriend with his kids. You deserve this day to enjoy yourself!!! For fishing, I don't think that is a reason to cancel. Go and have a good time!!!


Sara

Sara

"Seek to understand and you will be understood"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 3:32pm
Not only would I NOT CANCEL, I'd dump the guy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 4:26pm

I agree most with sdlostorfound.

Your man is completely out of line.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 4:50pm

You have GOT to be kidding me!!!


That's absolutely ridiculous--what a selfish so and so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 12:50am

Welcome to the board pretti-n-pnk,


Boy, he's just a tad self-focused. It's YOUR birthday.