jealousy over my success

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2008
jealousy over my success
7
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 4:41pm

since i have gotten into school my boyfriend has pretty much done nothing

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 5:46pm

Welcome to the board bbmarie25,


Is this treatment of you new?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 5:53pm
It sounds like he is scared of losing you and in an immature and dysfunctional fashion is belittling you so that you do not venture too far from him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Thu, 06-26-2008 - 6:58pm

Sorry but ragingangel is right, I dealt with a man who was exactly like this - would put me down every time I did well, or made an effort to make sure I know he had done better at some point. He was really nice and good in other areas so it took me a while to see what an incredibly dysfunctional person he was.

Someone like this will not make you happy. When you love someone you are supposed to be happy for their success, not jealous. I would take a SERIOUS look at why you stay with someone who cannot feel good about you when you have individual success.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 1:32am

Welcome to the board bbmarie25,


So he's putting you down, trying to make you feel bad about yourself, sabotaging and undermining you, even if it's out of fear of losing you, it's also about his own insecurities, feeling bad about himself and wanting to keep you down to feel good about himself.


If he's unable or unwilling to get help with his own issues, I would suggest you re-think this relationship and even leave it.


Reading material to consider:


Are You the One for Me? by Barbara DeAngelis





angels

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 9:35am

The real question here is why in the world you are in this abusive, ugly relationship? He is obviously threatened by your intelligence and success and wants a woman he can control who he doesn't feel is better than him. He is trying to make you insecure and to feel badly about yourself. This is a very troubling and serious situation and you should really work on why you can't see this for yourself and leave him behind? If needs be, get some professional help in becoming clear, developing self regard and breaking free from abuse of all kinds.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2008
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 12:36pm
actually, it seems to come and go. i must tell you that he is coming off a medication.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 1:23pm
I have never heard of a medication that makes someone jealous and spiteful of their partner's successes. Except one permanent medication called "a crappy personality".