husband is unhappy
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husband is unhappy
| Mon, 07-07-2008 - 3:07pm |
My husband and I are approaching our 3 year anniv. He says he is unhappy and that our relationship is gone/over. We had a wonderful few years together and then we had a baby. She was tough- colicky and a constant crier etc...It was a difficult time for a while. She is 19 months old now and is just starting to get easier now and so much fun.
my husband says he's been unhappy for soooo long. He has been so miserable around the house and only started communicating to me about this a month ago when I flipped out on him. Now he says he doesn't think he can stay in this marriage.
Also, we have an 11 year old stepson because he was married before. I think my husband has major issues, but he refuses to go to counseling. He tried it with his ex and hated it. He isn't giving our marriage a fighting chance. He is going to destroy our daughter's life, and I don't ever want to share her and have her live that life.
I realize that our marriage has been tough and that in the process of being a mom, full time worker, taking care of our house etc...he's gotten very little attention from me, but I'm willing to work on that now. he claims he's lost his physical interest in me. Can I get that back? Is this all lost? He is being so stubborn and selfish about all of this. I don't know what to do. he says whenever he is around me he is just sad that the relationship we once had is over. he says it was the best time of his life (before the baby). He doesn't seem willing to fight for us.
Help!!! What can I do?
my husband says he's been unhappy for soooo long. He has been so miserable around the house and only started communicating to me about this a month ago when I flipped out on him. Now he says he doesn't think he can stay in this marriage.
Also, we have an 11 year old stepson because he was married before. I think my husband has major issues, but he refuses to go to counseling. He tried it with his ex and hated it. He isn't giving our marriage a fighting chance. He is going to destroy our daughter's life, and I don't ever want to share her and have her live that life.
I realize that our marriage has been tough and that in the process of being a mom, full time worker, taking care of our house etc...he's gotten very little attention from me, but I'm willing to work on that now. he claims he's lost his physical interest in me. Can I get that back? Is this all lost? He is being so stubborn and selfish about all of this. I don't know what to do. he says whenever he is around me he is just sad that the relationship we once had is over. he says it was the best time of his life (before the baby). He doesn't seem willing to fight for us.
Help!!! What can I do?

Welcome to the board lostmom2008,
Sorry you are going through this.
Welcome to the board lostmom2008,
I am sorry you are going through this. It is terrible that your husband thinks life was better before your daughter was (Which I have to say
glitter-graphics.com
If I understand you correctly, you acknowledge that you neglected/ignored your husband for quite a while and are now upset that he doesn't resppond to your conciliatory overtures in quite the speed and manner that you demand.
So no, I am a patient woman and would love for him to come back to me in whatever time it takes him. Unfortunately, he's told me the relationship is "ruined" and it seems he has no interest in being a part of our marriage anymore. It makes me fear that he cannot handle stress or conflict in general and that maybe there was more to the story of the downfall of his first marriage than he told me.
It doesn't really matter what happened then, what matters is that or daughter's happiness is at stake now. I love my husband and am afraid he has selfishly given up. He has only started communicating with me in the last month about how sad/bad he has been feeling for so long. But, now that he's communicated that, it seems he doesn't want to do anything about it or work on it with me. He has no desire at all to be with me and he hasn't put a smile on his face in many months. It is a negative influence on my daughter and his son as well.
I am looking for suggestions/advice and not criticism.