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| Mon, 07-07-2008 - 6:36pm |
My boyfriend and i love eachother very much but there's issues.(Together 3 years, living together one, we are both twenty)
| Mon, 07-07-2008 - 6:36pm |
My boyfriend and i love eachother very much but there's issues.(Together 3 years, living together one, we are both twenty)
Welcome to the board kiszkisz,
Sounds like the two of you bring out the worst in each other, drinking or not.
"We both get angry and he says I usually lash out at him because i feel some resentment towards lies in the past and such. I dont know what to do!!!!! "
If you harbor resentment towards him dont you think it would be a good idea to resolve it within yourself?
I hope you take the other responses very seriously (great advice and perspective) and read the material itwinflame offered to you. It will be very valuable.
Two people who are meant to be together bring out the best in one another 99.9% of the time. If you have individual issues then you should be working on them privately, and so should he. But don't fall into the trap of thinking that because you've gone this long together, you have to continue. Time itself is not an investment. What matters is that you function as a team - and that's just not happening here. Can you imagine the rest of your life, going through difficulties and bad times when this is the partnership you have? I wouldn't want to rely on that. You can love someone with all your heart and still not be right together. Again... You should make one another feel like (and act like) better people. If you don't, there's something extremely wrong.
A relationship doesn't work out simply because you have feelings for one another and want it to work. It works because you are people who belong together, adapt well together and match one another.
Therapy will not make you fit one another if you don't.
You also both need to stop drinking entirely. Not "cool it" but quit for good. Only then will you see if you can fit together while sober.