Boyfriend gives mixed signals
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Boyfriend gives mixed signals
| Mon, 07-07-2008 - 11:44pm |
Help... my boyfriend said to me just today that he loves me and wants me forever. When i brought up some issues that we have together all the sudden he is running for the hills telling me maybe i should move out for a while and see how it goes.... he wants to see if he will be better without me. He's really on and off!!!!!! One minute he loves me dearly and forever and others he says he wants me to move out or he needs space!

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Ok, stop giving him all the power.
Crystal-
Maybe what you need to do is write a list of pros and cons. What's really great about him, those great little things he does, the great memories... and the cons, the times you wake up with bruises, his indecisiveness... and take a deep breath and ask yourself... are you worth this? Are you ready to take all the good with all the bad? Write down what you think the relationship will be like in a year, three years, five years, ten, twenty... what would happen if, say, you two divorced? If you got in an accident in his car?
Take a breath and focus on you... don't worry about him, he's a big boy, he can stand on his own. But it's time you remembered how to do that so you can take moments like this in stride.
i feel like i have nothing else in life right about now
NEVER make someone else your whole life.
He may love you and yet not be able to deal with issues, communication or feelings. Love is one thing, the ability to be in a lasting, healthy, loving relationship is another. In order to build a relationship both individuals need to understand themselves and their partners, be willing to communicate, share, cooperate and take responsibility. It doesn't sound as though he can do that at this time. He needs to grow up, and/or to get some good counseling.
Best wishes,
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Crystal-
You can follow the link in my siggy below to the Breaking up is Hard to Do board - there are a lot of resources there as well.
Relationship Grieving Process - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=22985.1
Start journal writing. Vent on paper.
I just read your profile.
Why not take violin or singing class or join a choir? Get involved in a local campaign for a candidate that is for womens' rights or a children's charity?
my favorite quote
Love is always patient and kind, It does not take offense , It is never boastful nor jealous.
Does this describe your boyfriend?
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