Am I making a mistake?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2008
Am I making a mistake?
13
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 2:05pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 2:22pm

Welcome to the board redsassy30,


If you allow him to control you now, he is going to expect to do the same once you are married. I would suggest premartial counseling. Whoever is going to marry you should be able to provide it. It things don't change, I would at the very least postpone the wedding.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 3:39pm

Welcome to the board redsassy30,


::His latest thing is that he thinks I should ask him instead of tell him the things I'm doing or where I'm going.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 3:50pm
'He told me that if I don't change then we aren't getting married because he is a traditionalist.'

'I've spoken to my mom about this at great lengths to get her opinion since she has been married for 20 some years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2008
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 4:47pm

Is he being controling or is he asking you to let go of your parents a little? He might be

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 4:58pm
I think you meant this for the original poster.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 5:33pm

You say that initially he didn't want to get married. Are you actually sure he does now? It sounds to me like maybe he's changed his mind and is acting passive aggressive about it in the hopes that you'll break things off. That way he's not the bad guy for leaving you at the altar since it would have been your decision.

Whether he's not wanting to get married, or if he simply really is as controlling as he's sounding, getting married in 32 days is going to be a disaster. You may lose some money if you cancel the wedding, but it's much less than you'd lose if you go ahead and end up divorced very quickly.

If you are going through with it, then at the least you should do some in-depth premarital counseling to talk through these issues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 9:19pm

Is your post in red because you are really mad?

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 9:26pm
If he is now showing you who is he it is time to reconsider this marriage. He could make your life hell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 10:16pm
Anyone know where my post went??
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 11:42pm

Hi,


I don't see any 'deleted' posts.

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