Predictable relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Predictable relationship
5
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 5:42pm

Me and my fiancé live together for 1 year and a half (we started our relationship 3 years ago) and I´m geting bored with the relationship. It seems he isn´t really engaged in it anymore. It´s always up to me to invent something different to do. For example, buying train tickets to visit a new place, or do a picnic in the park, or go to the movies, etc. The last thing I did was buying plane tickets to go to Paris on my birthday weekend in

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 6:14pm

Allthough he doesnt come up with the ideas, it doesnt really give you the initiative to think about sex with a specific man you know that can be really hurtful towards your fiance'. Thats not fair. What if he feels like you want to do too much that you're never happy just sitting around watching t.v. and having a normal day.

Crystal-

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 7:19pm

You two have different personalities. He is more predictable, invtroverted and probably doesn't like change while you like and may even thrive on looking forward to changes in routine and are more sociable. that said, you can't change him. You can't make him want to surprise you or get original in his planning.


The big quetion is- can you live with him. He isn't right or wrong. It is just his lifestyle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 8:53pm

´Im getting so bored that I´m starting to look at other guys and I feel bad about it. There´s a guy at the gym that I think the only reason he doesn´t approach me is because he knows I´m committed and I get myself thinking about him and having sex with him, and then I feel bad because I love my fiance, but I just can´t live like this.


This could be just ME...but when you are in love with someone...you don't think about having sex with anyone else.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 9:24pm

A long term relationship cant always be exciting and unpredictable but some of that can be sprinkled in every now and then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 1:40pm

Welcome to the board miumiu2008,


I think you've already gotten some good advice, I just wanted to give you some reading material to consider:


Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw.


If you are putting in all the effort, have you discussed it with him about keeping love alive, dating, taking turns planning, etc?





angels