Husband is addicted to porn and alcohol

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Husband is addicted to porn and alcohol
6
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 1:22pm
I need advice badly I'm a mother of one 21 month

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 1:34pm

Welcome to the board sweetie1987,


Is marriage counseling an option? If so go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 2:00pm
Well he admits its a problem but he refuses to go to marriage counseling or counseling of any sort, i feel like im fighting an uphill battle. I even offered to go to the church pastor if he wanted and he still thinks these problems will just go away. He needs help and im willing to stand by and help him but i cant help when he cant admit its more than a problem its an addiction

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 2:13pm

Welcome to the board,


Would he be willing to go to AA meeting? I think it would be a good idea for you to attend Al-Anon meeting. You could always talk to the pastor yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 1:40am

Oh my gosh I thought this was a post I did and forgot about! I am going through EXACTLY the same thing as you are right now. I was pregnant (lost the baby) and my boyfriend who is 26 is addicted to alcohol and porn. It is horrible having to go through this because he thinks its something all guys do and its not a big deal. I don't remember the last time that we had sex when he wasn't drunk. He looks at porn everyday and its so degrading to me. Yesterday I thought he wanted to be with me and found out later after we fooled around that he had looked at porn not even 15 minutes before, while I was in the same room. It feels like I am not good enough for him and that he has to be either drunk or already horny from porn to want to be with me.


Sorry that this is so long but I want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. I hope he shapes up for you. If you get him to let me know how you did it. LOL


Leah

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 9:54am

Addiction to porn is a disease and it has to be first recognized as such before it can be handled. Your husband has to be made aware that this is a fantasy escape from life and responsiblities and from dealing with a real flesh and blood woman - you. He also must be made to realize the toll it's taking on your marriage and that if he continues this way the marriage and his young family are both in jeopardy. Once he acknowledges this, there is professional help available for addictions of all kinds, including porn.


If he will not recongize it, get to a therapist yourself for help in dealing with this, and finding ways to stop things from getting worse.


All best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 12:53pm
Welcome to the board redjet242 and thanks for participating.




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