Confusing behavior?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
Confusing behavior?
4
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 9:27am

Well you all have probably already read some of my posts before but I will update you since then. I was seeing this man for 10 months and when we first started dating he told me up front that he didn't want a relationship and I said I did want one. Well, I stopped contact and somehow he came out of the blue back into my life. We went on dates, did sleepovers, got eachother gifts, etc. We slept together about 4 months into it, which is his doing because he wanted to wait. I will let you know he has a sexual problem, ED. Everytime we had sex he had this problem every single time and always made some excuse for it. Anyway, it seems as everytime we had a disagreement or fight he would ignore me for a week, no calls, no return calls, no texting, nothing. I would call and leave messages and nothing. Then after the silence he would text me and say that I deserve better, that we should just move on. Well, we tried but someway we ended up back together. This happened 3 times and then we had a disagreement on the 4th time which was about 2 months ago and this time he said he meant it. So we broke up. Here is the thing, we still talk or text every single day, I still pick him up for work, cook for him, and we still are close but we are not having sex anymore. Well, after the argument I brought up the sexual issue to him and told him that I know. I asked him questions and was very supportive of him. Of course he became defensive and blamed it on me, that he wasn't sexually attracted to me, which I knew was a lie because he had NO problem getting it up, just keeping it up. So we didn't talk for about 4 days and then we started talking again. Well, now we are talking all the time, everyday, texting, and I am still seeing him, picking him up from work, etc. without the sleepovers, he said he won't come to my house. We have not gone on dates since then, he said it's for the best that we don't, which I don't understand since I see him about 3-4 times a week anyway. And lately when we text it's also about sex, and stuff he wants with me, but he never follows through with it, it's like he is teasing me, but I am shocked that sex (talk) is back into the picture after I confronted him about his problem.


Well, I recently met someone else and have been talking to this new person and I have been talking to him too. Well, I told him that I met someone new and am just dating around, just what he wanted. Now he is very jealous, everytime I text him he responds with "Was that for your new boyfriend?" or "What about your new friend?" So I thought that I should back away from him and put some space between us, so I did. I started with no contact and sure enough on the evening of the first day he texts me and says "hey, busy with new friend?" I didn't respond to his question, I just said what's up and he never responded so I decided not to contact him until a few days. Well, the next day he said good morning and then we text for a little bit during the day and then at night I was stupid and sent him a stupid text that said "You know your my first choice, but since you don't want me......." and he responded with "what" and then I ignored him. Well, then yesterday I text him good morning and then he said he was off work and I said did he have plans and he said are we going out and I said I don't know are we, then he said yes dinner. I said ok, and I went and picked

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 12:22pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 2:53pm
Really I think the two of you just seem to be playing games with each other and it would be best to end all contact. Otherwise all of this game playing is just going to continue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 3:38pm
I'd say to leave him alone completely and focus on your new relationship.He had his chance to be with you, But he decided to
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 9:35pm

This is a confusing one for me....if he had admitted to his ED..would you have been willing to work on this relationship?

Missy