what shall i do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2008
what shall i do?
3
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 8:17am
iv been with my bf for over a year now and a while ago we broke up over his girl bestfriend (too cut a long story short- she was drunk and they were alone and she thought they might have kissed)
i discovered this when i read his messages; a regular thing as we do both trust each other.
the best friend clearly is either in love with or has a soft spot for him and unloads emotional feelings onto him, none of which im allowed to know.
among other things we broke up because "it hasnt been right for a while" "weve been arguing more recently etc"
we got back together quickly (around an hour later) because we felt we couldnt cope without the other.
we do argue quite alot. and i have been emailing someoneelse who im not sure if i have feelings for, however this has happened before and the feelings went away as quick as they had come. despite this i get excited if i have an email from them and the feeling i have with my bf is different.
as well as this i dont really enjoy sex with him but he always does and always want to do it, i always end thinking id rather be doing the ironing.
despite all this i do have days where i love him with all my heart and feel i couldnt be happier.
am i afraid of being alone and was breaking up the right thing to do?
i do still have happy times with him and do love him.
help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 9:40am
Hi
Personally I feel if you have been in a relationship for a year he shoul not be hanging out so much with another girl without you but,,, The "she thought they might have kissed part could be wishful thinking on her part or maybe it's true. If you forgave him and set some new guide lines for future contact with her fine. But I'm confused about you commitment to this relationship. If you are e-mailing other guys to see if theres something better out there then thats not fair to him either. If you don't enjoy his lovemaking then try to find some ways to improve it. I think the two of you need to spend more time on each other instead of these other divetions. You may need to question if you are together because you want to be or because you don't want to be alone. I'm not sure who's reasons for your break up were. Yours or his "fighting a lot" etc.Stop and take another look at this man. If you don't you may loose him. Thanks for your imput on mine as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 2:38pm

Welcome to the board gal_anna1234,


I don't think you should be with him just because you are afraid of being alone. You should be with him because you love him, he makes you happy, and you can't imagine your life without him.


I really think taking a break from each other would be the right thing for you right now. Especially considering you are emailing someone you might have feeling for, the issue with him and this other girl, and the sex life issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 07-23-2008 - 12:48pm

Welcome to the board gal_anna1234,


Since he's hanging out with a gal-pal that likes him and you are emailing another guy, are the two of you exclusive?