CAN I SALVAGE THIS? GUYS HELP!!
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| Tue, 07-22-2008 - 8:48am |
Hi new to this board. My boyfriend broke up with me last week. My story is under relationship issues under "life goes on if you need more detail then I can give here. No one has responded to it thus far so...a huge issue for him is the sex. He found me conservitive in bed. ie: I have the lights off more then on,I am not aggressive enough,and I seem to be too large for him to fill me up so not alot of sensation for him. We have dated 11 months. I've met spent alot of time with his family etc. so not a casual thing. I have not seen him since our last talk (of two) on friday. There is a good chance I will run into him at a mutual client we service sometime this week and I'm not looking forward to it as not sure how to act. We both want to remain friends and he has said if I need to talk to him I can call etc. My question is this. I am so tempted to try and set up a visit and try to rock his world and show my more adventurous self to prove that this can be overcome. (In the past I have not been told I was conservitive. Most mates could not get enough. I seemed to turn them on)! I know its best to not call and keep away. Need advice about our staying good friends as well. But if I don't show him I can be more expressive how will the idea in his head change. Guys(and girls too) in your opinion if a guy feels sex is not up to par is there any chance he will come back? I was not a stone in bed. We did many different positions, I gave him oral,I rode like a cowgirl on him. I did not see him really bring anything new to the table. Although sex is not his only reason (see story) up until the break up all things pointed to a pretty good relationship. Our first "fight" was a week or so before the split and it was more like a heated conversation on how he needed more aggressive groping to get excited. I do grope etc. Just not always first thing. I kiss and fondel and sometimes wait for him to make some moves too. Any advice?????Thank you

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show him a good time, then let him know thats what he will be missing out on!
please comment my problem, would be very grateful
x
He said that I did not have a tight vagina and felt no friction,therefore sex was not as satisfying.This is not his only reason. But I asked for an example of something we could not fix. he is not blaming me. it is so hard to give a complete picture of this man in these short letters. We had a very good relationship up till the first week in July.I would never have guessed this was coming. He treated me with respect and was affectionate always. He involved me with his family etc.This feels like it can't have happened but it has. I just want to know if a guy says that about our sex life and say's there are just some qualitys he is looking for long term that I don't have and says it's about what he feels in his heart to be true does anyone think there is a chance that this can be saved. I am shareing the negitive end. He is a good man. He is not a player. During this break up he showed alot of emotion and said that he likes me alot and the kind of person that I am. It was not just a big put me down talk. So if this is his truth then could he have a change of heart if I show him I CAN have more exciting sex and if he starts to miss sharing time with me. On this post I have not shared the whole story. I did under relationship. breaking up is hard to do under life gos on (wrong heading I think). His Mother just died at the end of May,then his brother got married (The trip where this kind of solitified I think) and when we came back after two more visits he broke it off one month before out anniversay. Im not defending himso much as trying to give an honest picture. I can't seem to in writing. Does anyone have anything to add????
The sex is likely just an excuse and/or not the main reason for the break up.
hi merriweather,
Thanks for the reply. I have not read your story but will look for it. I've never had the quality of my sex be an issue as far as satisfaction was concerned. He seemed to enjoy it for the last year. He did make a few comments in July about how he needed me to be more aggressive. I guess I just did not step it up quick enough. of course this was not the only issue.Whats hard for me is that he did not sit down and talk to me about how this could affect our relationship or try to find ways to fix it. Despite what it may seem like here it was a good relationship based on mutual respect. I have to accept that although I have a lot of what hes looking for I just don't have it all FOR HIM. But it hurts like hell because I've known him for 8 years and I will still have to see him and I love him. I am saying goodbye to a future with him and it sucks!!! It took me 10 years to find him. I feel like I just didn't measure up. He said as well that it had started out with so much potential.
Thanks for the reply. He does still appreciate me just not as a long term partner. Thank you for your advise. I know its the only thing I can really do with this in the end. It's just getting to that point thats tough
Hey firefly, it sounds like you found the right answer to this one. There are many guys who would fight for a date with you, and who can appreciate and love you for who you are. Once you find one of them, or he finds you, you will be unimaginably happier and you will NOT have to feel this way anymore.
It's completely natural and okay to grieve over this relationship. Take your time.
Thank you Eggbertshootsfire,
I just got done watching the Lakehouse. a movie that made him cry. i balled my eyes out.
it's so sad because we both are looking for the same thing. He is a good man. And I will miss him....Firefly
This guy's opinion seems to matter a great deal to you.
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