Circumstances

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2008
Circumstances
5
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 1:17am

Hi, I'm a guy and although this is the first time I'm posting, I have been to this site quite a few times because I find the advice useful. Recently, I have a problem with my girlfriend, and I just want to listen to opinions from a female perspective.


I'm 23 and she's 21, and we have been in a relationship for about 15 months. We love each other deeply, and our relationship is based on lots of trust, communication and understanding. We both grew up in the same country, same city outside the States, and for our undergraduate studies, we went to the same college in the States. I have a scholarship from a research company in my country, which pays for both my undergraduate and graduate studies, and the catch is that I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
In reply to: sincerelove
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 4:49am

Her reason is that

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2008
In reply to: sincerelove
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 9:41am

Thank you for your response americajin. There are a few more details that I didn't add but which could be relevant. She was born in my country of origin, and she lived there all her life until she went to college in the States, so this country is not a new and foreign place to her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: sincerelove
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 12:48pm

Welcome to the board sincerelove,.


For both of you a whole lot is going to change in the next 5 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2008
In reply to: sincerelove
Fri, 07-25-2008 - 1:33am

Hi cl-itwinflame. Thank you for your help. You were right that I would probably go crazy just thinking about the whole thing and giving meaning to it. However, I suddenly figured out everything. And I really mean suddenly, like some revelation. Today, I had a chat with her, no arguments, no talk about the future, just casual chatting, and she said she was unhappy about a lot of stuff, not just in the relationship, and I was very patient and I listened to everything she said. The topic of our conversation changed from unhappiness to how she has been messing with her diet because of it, and then she said she was going to be fat for the rest of her life. She then said that if she cannot handle her weight, how can she handle relationships. At first glance, this didn't make sense at all, but

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: sincerelove
Sun, 07-27-2008 - 1:35pm

She has a lot of inner work to do. Stuff you can't help her with.