What does he mean by this?? Please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2008
What does he mean by this?? Please help
8
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 11:46am

Hi....the guy ive been seeing for a month and a half told me he wants to date more "casually" and i need to give him some space and he wants to take a step back....what exactly does he mean? Does this mean he wants to go out and date other girls and sleep w/other ppl?? This is not at

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 12:49pm

Welcome to the board melime1883,


You will have to ask him what he meant by this. Only he knows for sure. It is possible he wants to see other people, but I can't say for sure because that also might not be true.


However, the fact is that if you really didn't care where he went or what he did than you wouldn't have gotten upset that he went to a certain bar without you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 1:33pm

Welcome to the board melime1883,


I agree, you'd have to ask him what he means.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2008
Fri, 07-25-2008 - 8:34am

Hi and thank u for previous advice...i would like to know if i did the right thing in this case...and what i should do today from here on:


Last night i was with my girlfriends (one of them having to be my guys sister) eating dinner. Around 10pm i get a text message from him saying "hi, whatcha doin"......so i didnt respond b/c a friend told me not to respond if he sent any texts....so 40 min later i get another one saying "good talking to you"........i didnt respond to that one either, b/c again,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 07-25-2008 - 12:55pm

He can't have it both ways....ask for space which you are giving

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 07-25-2008 - 1:06pm
In my opinion, I think you should have responded to the texts. But that's just me. It does feel like game playing not answering him back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2008
Fri, 07-25-2008 - 6:23pm

Thanks for the advice....i shoulda texted him back b/c he FLIPPED out on me today for playing games and said he did not want to date a "game player". I explained to him that i was just trying to do the "right" thing by giving him space and i told him that my friends were giving me advice on what to do....b/c i wasnt sure how to react to the situation. Well by me not responding to him have only

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2008
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 6:22pm
I think that's exactly what he means. "to see you casually" prob means seeing you once in a while and prob seeing other girls. He might want to see what else is out there. it's stupid i know. the guy isn't ready for a serious relationship it seems. u better be careful with this.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-01-2008 - 8:09pm

Clearly he's not ready to make any kind of committment and wants his freedom to do what he wants. So, he wants to slow things down, or back off. This just shows you where he's at in his feelings and development. It's not about showing him that you're secure. It's about deciding what it is you want in a relationship with someone you're sleeping with. You have a right to be with someone where you can set standards and boundaries and have your feelings and needs respected. This is not controlling someone, but setting standards. Look and see if you've really been controlling him, or if your request was reasonable. If it was, then perhaps you might want to re-evaluate the relationship yourself and see if it's what you truly want.


Best wishes,