cold feet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
cold feet?
2
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 3:51pm

So, I'm getting married in mid August... the day is quickly approaching. I'm terrified. I've hated the wedding from the start. It's a 400 people wedding, when I wanted to elope to the beach. I've made a fuss on how upset I am, but the ball kept rolling and here we are, there is nothing that can be done now. I'm TERRIFIED!

The bigger problem is that even though I'm marrying a sweet, wonderfully kind man, who will take care of me forever and love me unconditionally, I'm worried. I am giving up my city, house, career (which is what I LOVE), and moving for him. And I'm moving to the country, which I hate. I'm a suburban girl 100%. His job neccessitiates where he lives. I try to tell myself that the place I live and what I do DO NOT define me as a person and that I can find things I will like to do there, but it is difficult. I fear that even though I'm a strong, independent woman, that when I move, I'll suddenly lose who I am and what I love about life.


Additionally, I am a passionate person. My finace is passionate about his career, but not so much in the bedroom. I'm bored! And I can't get inspired by him. At this point in our lives I shold not feel that way. For awhile, I've talked to him about it, complaining that I need passion, but then I realized that its me who doesn't have passion for him. I made the mistake of meeting an old boyfriend for dinner, who I had AMAZING chemistry with. Relationship wise, we were not good together, but boy did the sparks always fly! It reminded me that I will never get to feel that way again. I'm panicing about that now.

Perhpas this is more venting then asking for advise. I know I have a great friendship with my finace, and perhaps that is more important then amazing physical chemistry? Did others of you experience this kind of cold feet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: claireann04
Thu, 07-24-2008 - 4:18pm

Welcome to the board claireann04,


I didn't have cold feet when I got married, but my situtation is a lot different from yours. First, we didn't have a wedding. We eloped which is what both of us wanted to do. So I didn't have to stress of a big wedding and all the planning. Plus we lived together (in the country) before we got married so I didn't have to deal with moving, leaving my job, etc. Really when we got married things didn't change any for us.


The thing that worries me about your post is that you don't seem happy with the changes that are taking place/about to take place in your life. How did you end up with a huge wedding when that wasn't what you wanted? Who planned it? And why do you have to quit your job?


Also if you are already feeling there are problems in your sex life that isn't going to get any better and really it does affect the health of

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: claireann04
Fri, 07-25-2008 - 1:55pm

Welcome to the board claireann04,


Please don't marry this man.