my bf doesnt want to do it

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2008
my bf doesnt want to do it
4
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 3:30pm

My bf and I havent been physical for 4 months now. We live together for almost 1 1/2 year. We had a discussion about this before and he said because he is afraid I will get pregnant. Back in Feb. I had an incident where my menstrual cycle came 1 week later. Since then, I've been on the pills but everything in terms of physical action went down hill. He knows I am on the pills. I am not sure how to fix this problem. Any suggestions would be grealy appreciated. I do want to suggest to him to try it with me but I am scared he will say no or reject it.


I guess I just don't know how to approach such an issue.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 3:46pm

Welcome to the board pyc529,


First if you have tried intiating sex with him I would try that first. Then if he still doesn't seem interested it is time to tell you that you need to talk about the issue. If he says he is afraid of getting you pregnant than remind him that you are on birth control pills and also that he can use a condom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Tue, 11-11-2008 - 7:47pm
He has heard of spermicidally lubricated condoms...hasnt he?
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 12:12pm

Physical intimacy is a very crucial part of a couple's life, and when it is absent it is easy to feel rejected, unwanted and not desirable. Unless there is physical intimacy, he is not a boyfriend, but a friend. Clearly, he has a problem about this and it has nothing to do with you, but with his own fears. You can gently let him know that this is an important part of a romantic relationship for you, and without it, it is just a friendship. If he is still unwilling or unable to make a move in this direction, then I suggest you realize what the relationship is, and move on to find someone who can give you the fulfillment you most certainly deserve.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Wed, 11-12-2008 - 1:36pm
How is your relationship otherwise? Doyou think there are other reasons for not wanting sex? Was your sex life good before this- did he initiate?