Boyfriend's Priorities

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Boyfriend's Priorities
9
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 11:46pm

I have a question regarding my best friend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 1:51am

rr86, it's too bad you didn't think of it at the time, but the best action would have been to go up and say "hi" to him at the restaurant. You could have asked for an introduction to the girl and you could have told her that you are a friend of this guy's girlfriend.

Anyway, no sense worrying about what you could have done.

To be honest, I wouldn't involve yourself in the situation. It's very likely that she'd shoot the messenger. I know that I wouldn't take kindly to someone who was informing on my partner.

But if you really can't keep quiet, then speak to him - not her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 11:44am

Welcome to the board rr46,


I think the way you need to think about this is if someone saw your bf out with another woman would you want them to tell you about it. If so say something, if not keep quite.


You could also send something to her annoymously. Too bad you didn't think to take a pic if you had a camera phone.


It is also possible that she already suspects something is up. This is a hard choice to make.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 1:07pm

This is a very, very delicate matter. Before you say anything at all about this, you have to be really certain what's going on. Check into this further, before you take any action. It's never wise to intrude upon someone else's relationship. If, you feel, down the road, that you must say something, make sure you have a lot of solid evidence to back it up.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 7:23pm
Since you saw him with your own eyes at dinner with someone other than his brother then I would mention to your friend that you happened to be at the same restaurant with him but he wasnt with his brother and let her approach him. Dont assume anything or speculate at this point - she may ask for as many details as possible but dont lead her along in any way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 11-15-2008 - 7:32pm

Welcome to the board rr46,


What did you decide to do?





iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2008
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 5:22am

Dear rr46, I had a similar situation happen where my GF

"IMAGINE" All The people, Living Life in Peace...................., "You may say I'm a dreamer; But, I'm not he only one." "Be A Dreamer and Imagine."
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 11-16-2008 - 3:14pm

Welcome to the board grammalu2008 and thanks for participating. Feel free to stick around and join in on any topic that interests you.


A long time ago I read an article, I think it was in Redbook, maybe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2005
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 2:00pm

A different perspective. Back when I was 22 I had a boyfriend of close to 7 years. One time a friend of mine told me that she saw him last night when she was out. We lived in a smaller town at that time and there were only a few places to go out so I thought nothing of it. But I realized he kept this from me, and we used to tell each other these things. So I asked him why he felt the need to keep a secret from me. Long story short I found out he went out with two random chicks (not friends of his). I ended the relationship the next day and never felt any remorse. Couple of months after we broke up I learned that he had been doing this stuff behind my back for a long time.


To this day I am grateful to my friend for telling me. She told me that it was enough to point me in the right direction if I wanted to see what was going on. It hurts knowing that my other friends might have seen him with women and kept quiet from me.


I was talking about this with another friend and we both decided we'd want to know. If I were you, I'd think about what my friend is like and if she would appreciate it and understand it. I agree with a poster who said that saying you saw her BF with someone who was not his brother is enough. Then I'd step away and let her handle it.


Its tough... best of luck to you

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 5:37pm

<<I thought maybe it was a friend or a family member, but he kept touching her hand.