Commitment/Taking Time/right choice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2008
Commitment/Taking Time/right choice?
4
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 8:05pm
Good evening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 8:46pm
This is one of those situations where..if you dont permit the person to breathe and grow by herself/himself...then a bad decision will be made. If she does individuate from her family for you..then she could become resentful over time if your relationship hits a road bump or two.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 11-17-2008 - 8:47pm

Welcome to the board johndoe2008,


I have a few questions.... how old is she?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 3:29pm

Welcome to the board johndoe2008,


Long distance relationships are almost always hard. It doesn't make things any easier when she is feeling pulled between you and her family. I understand that only want what is best for her,

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 11:17am

Long distance relationships are very difficult under all kinds of circumstances. Basically here you are trying hard to change her, work out her problems with her and for her and this has become greatly frustrating to you. However, you must realize that you are not her therapist. A relationship consists of two equal individuals sharing all kinds of times and experiences with one another. Of course one partner offers help and advice, but it is not his or her role to fix any situation and the other partner should not turn to him or her for this kind of help. Your girlfriend is in the midst of a difficult situation and she is the one who has to work it out.


If you are not happy or fulfilled in the situation, there is no reason to continue it. You have to face your needs, what you want and require in a primary relationship in order to feel happy, and