New here-hoping for advise or direction
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 11-19-2008 - 11:45am |
I was previously married. It has been over for some time, was not on good terms and I no longer have anything to do with my ex-husband (their were no kids). I am now with a wonderful man who I love more than anything in the world. We have been together for a year-and-a-half now. Things are wonderful except for one thing - he's having a hard time dealing with the fact that I was previously married to a black man.
In my eyes, people are just people. If my now boyfriend was Asian, Black, White or whatever I wouldn't care because its about who he is. He wants to try to get past it and doesn't want it to be a factor.
I'm not trying to stir the pot or anything. I'm new here and hoping that there is some insight here that can help me. Thanks for your time in reading.

Welcome to the board dayatthepark,
While you want to help him get past this, it is HIS problem and he has to find a way to deal with it, fix it and heal it.
It sounds like he's going to need to confront his own racism and deal with it.
I am happy you've found someone you love, and I agree, it's very unfortunate that anyone would make race an issue in who you choose to love and be with. There's nothing you can do about his racism. This is something he has to grapple with and overcome. It's his issue, not yours. If he cannot overcome it, that's really a shame, but then, again, perhaps it would indicate that he is not someone you would want to be with. Suggest to him that he seek so me counseling about this. Let him get some professional help and perhaps he will see that he is creating a problem where none at all exists.
Best wishes,
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
Save Your Relationship: The 21 Basic Laws Of Successful Relationships
Change The Way Women Think About Men and Find Out What Men Really Think About Relationships
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.