I dont know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
I dont know what to do
4
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 11:25am

You could say im not so good at relationships sometimes since i've been in very few and have not been in a "real" long term relationship until now. I almost 19 and my boyfriend is 23. He is my first and only sexual partner. At the start of our relationship our friend Missy basicly hooked us up. During the beginning of our relationship my friend, well "our" friend Missy would invite me to come hang out with her at her new apartment all the time, and I would always go over there because she was like my best friend. My boyfriend would get angry because he had never been to her new apartment and she would never invite him to come over. I understood after a while where he was coming from and why he would yell at me and be so mad, because he was never invited over to her place but I knew it wasnt 100% my fault either because she could of invited him over since you know it was her apartment and you know they where friends to but I did agree that is was partially my fault. So after a while he did get to come to our friends apartment, and I have invited him plenty of times to come hang out with my friends.

Now its been a year and 5 months into our relationship (he now lives with me and my family) and to me it feels like im getting that treatment now. My boyfriend will say he's going out to run and do something and than "something" always comes up and he ends up being hours and sometimes does not even come home at night. I know he is not cheating, he's only out with his friends but I get very jelous and very upset. It seems now that im the one ALWAYS at home, cleaning, cooking and you know doing nothing of importance and he doesnt invite me out with his friends or he always leavs me out. There is this one house he always goes to and hangs out with his friends but its weird and makes me upset because he has never tooken me over there not once to hang out with his friends at all. Its like he goes out with his friends and has all the fun in the world like lastnight, having snowball fights and building snow men and you know fun stuff, and i feel left out and when we where in a fight a while ago i said "oh well this must be karma coming back on me" and he said it was, but in not so nice of words.

I feel that im beeing rediculouse and ask myself why something like this would hurt me. I do feel that I deserve a little bit of what he is doing because of what I did before but when I mention to him that I dont do anything anymore except go to school and come home, and barley hang out with any of my friends (my friend missy moved away and I only have one other best friend which she works a lot and we barley have time to see eachother) he just says that it is not his problem and it is mine. I honestly do not know what to do anymore :(




Edited 11/20/2008 1:51 pm ET by juggalette_goddess
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 3:42pm

Welcome to the board juggalette_goddess,


If he's behaving this way to 'pay you back' then he's not the guy for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 5:35pm

Welcome the board juggalette_goddess,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 6:31pm
If he waited this long to get back at you then he has repressed anger about how you handled those get togethers with your friend. First of all, *girl talk* really cant happen with a guy there..just like *guy talk* gets hindered with a woman there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2008
Fri, 11-21-2008 - 11:50am
He never acted this way really before. But ever since he got his job in the summer he's went out every once in a while to have a "boys night" which I didnt mind at all, til he started lieing to me saying he was going to work than I find out he really didnt and was out with his friends and such. Than for the past week he's had his friend come over to hang out with him dureing the day, than I spend a couple hours with him before I go to bed, than he takes off again at night and doesnt come home til 7 in the morning when I start getting ready for school.