what should i do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
what should i do...
6
Thu, 11-27-2008 - 8:40am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 11-27-2008 - 3:18pm

Soarnangels, if indeed this is all about a couple of unreturned DVDs, take a deep breath and let it go. These aren't evil or toxic people. They are just hopeless at returning loans.

My sisters in law are equally hopeless and I no longer lend them things which I want returned. But it's really not worth getting bent out of shape over or holding grudges over.

You know, none of us are perfect. I like to think that if I accept my friends faults, they will accept my faults. I just simply make allowances such as "well, I won't lend them stuff again"

Life is far too short to bear such minor grudges. I suggest that you do lurk on the toxic relationship board and see what bad friends REALLY look like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 11-27-2008 - 4:33pm

I just wanted to add....friends of mine had their newborn baby daughter die two days ago. It's very important to keep issues in perspective.

When you think about the terrible things that can happen, it really makes $40 worth of DVDs seem quite insignificant.

Just remind your friends that they've got you DVDs. Ask for them back nicely "hey, have you finished with those DVDs yet?" Don't lend them anything again, let it go and be friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Thu, 11-27-2008 - 5:55pm

This is about something other than movies--unless you have always been one to hold a grudge.

I agree with Blue: Life is too short, friendship is too precious, to waste it making yourself sick with anger and putting the onus on others (kids, as you describe them) to live up to your expectations. I am so sorry your life has changed dramatically, and you're no longer able to do the things you used to take for granted. Maybe your husband could get the DVDs back for you, and also get you a subscription to Netflix.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 11-27-2008 - 10:58pm

Welcome to the board soarnangels,


::they would rather keep my movies and have me pissed at them...


Do they know you are upset?


::No i havent called them..nor gone over to get them back myself...why?? because as the borrowers they should be the ones to admit they f***ed up and should own up to me their mistake.... but they havent and they wont.


If they are clueless, then they probably don't think or

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2008
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 8:01am
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 11-28-2008 - 8:35am

They are certainly an exasperating couple, aren't they?

If you have to have THOSE particular DVDs, one of you needs to go over there and stand on the doorstep/sit in the living room for as long as it takes, saying, "It's no trouble; I'll just wait until you find them, because we really need them today." Unless they are churlish beyond belief, they will go find the DVDs, and after you have them back you can write off the friendship, no matter how much repair their VW needs.

If you just want to be able to watch the movies, you can skip the first step and go directly to writing off the friendship, then head down to Wal-Mart and get new DVDs. They seem to have just about everything, and they're all about $9.99.

Angels, one thing I would say, though, and I mean this in the gentlest, most nurturing way, is that I hope you'll look at your interactions with others, and see if this bitterness may be creeping in elsewhere. Your MS has brought you down, but it hasn't put you out, and the best way to strengthen your immune system and brighten your outlook is by having a happy heart.