Online Friends

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2008
Online Friends
9
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 1:55pm

Hello everyone,


I have been having a problem with my boyfriend that I would like some advise on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 2:06pm

I don't think you have the right to treat him as guilty until proven innocent. What else does this guy need to do to gain your trust? When someone has acted faithfully to you and you still don't trust them, then the lack of trust is a problem on your shoulders. I don't know how else to tell you to "get over it" in a way that is sensitive and will change your mind. I have males I talk to online whom I've "befriended" while playing games or through other people online. They're just people to talk to and interact with while you're sitting at a computer.

"I just don't understand why he feels he needs to have online female friends."
Does every friendship and acquaintanceship have to be out of necessity? He's not doing it to make a point, he talks to her because she's there and they share an interest. Because I have absolutely no evidence to the contrary I believe what he's doing is not at all a threat to your relationship.

What efforts have you made to take responsibility for your own lack of trust and try to understand his point of view?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 2:20pm

Welcome to the board Brandi,


Why don't you trust him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 2:28pm
I disagree wholeheartedly. I'd get pissed if I were repeatedly accused of cheating when I wasn't. How would you react to this other than defensively? Obviously he DOES have to defend himself against nothing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 2:35pm
I can agree to disagree on this one. I must have missed the part where she accuses him of cheating.







Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 3:08pm

....."And my mom points out that I have guy friends that I talk to online.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 3:19pm
Continuing to ask about this girl and getting upset says "I think you're cheating", and she admits that she isn't trusting even though he deserves it
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 3:58pm

That's what it means to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 4:05pm
Perhaps that is true - I do not think you are necessarily wrong in your assessment either. We all base our opinions on past experience and how we would react in a certain situation. I hope we do eventually learn more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 7:22pm
If you can have guy friends then he can have lady friends ...or .. you both dont have any. It has to be fair and balanced, however you do it.