bf trying to drift away cuz of finance

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2008
bf trying to drift away cuz of finance
5
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 1:57am
hi, i been going out with some one for almost two years, and he just recently moved to another province to find bettter job opportunities so he can pay his debt of 50thousand dollars, and bring his parents and siblings here. Before he left we had a huge problem, where he hid things from me.. he said he never had sex withany other girl in the beginning, and he never told me when we did it, till now like a month ago. i didnt forgive him but i said ill forget abotu it and i went to meet him, i found picture of some girl, he tried to hide it from me sayin it was his friend;s friend then confessed he was been talking to her but stopped now. he loved me seriously, treated me really well since i been with him.. after this problem he left to alberta, and 2 days before he left, he came to see me he said he needed me in his life and decides that he wants to b with me always, but he also said i shuldnt cry over him cuz hes gone, hes not worth it and all dat.. he cried and gave me a huge hugg b4 he left off. its been a week and half since he was gone, he culdnt find a job there as everyones getting fired, too much competition, so hes having problems settling in and everything, he didn thave a phone on him, he uses his friend;s phone sometimes. he was online and he told me to forget him sayin he doesnt feel anylove any more, just to forget him he has no more love feelings cuz he doesnt know what hes doing, his life is messed, and dont know what to do any more. i talked to his friend about it and he said hes going to talk to him about it, i been calling since that day he told me this which was 2 days ago. and he hadnt answered the phone, or replied to my emails. i dont know what to do. i really love him and i dont want to loose him. how should i deal this situation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 2:15am
Shalu, he's made it very clear that he no longer wants to be with you. The only thing you can do is accept it and move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 7:11am
Please just find some friends to support you and move on, he's not in your life anymore. I'm sorry he is acting this way but he's told you how he feels and you shouldn't be with someone who doesn't want to love you, right?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 9:56am

(((HUGS))) shalu and I'm sorry he's acting like this I think you should believe what he says and move on. Find someone to love who'll love you as much in return. You deserve better than this.

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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 2:26pm

It's hard for many guys to be in love or feel worthy of having a woman in their life when their job situation is messed up and they're not making enough money. This affects their self esteem greatly and they need time to get their business life in order, often, before they can think about being with a woman again. In order to feel good about being with a woman they have to feel good about themselves.


Contact him and let him know you love him and will wait for him until things straighten out. Tell him you understand that this must be a confusing and upsetting time. Tell him that he has to stay in touch with you, however, so you know what's going on. ..see if he answers. If he does, you can keep it going...if not, there's a limit to how long you can hang on.


Take good care,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 2:36pm

Welcome to the boarf shalu88,


If you honor his request, you give him the time and space to get his life together and he might even miss you.