wrong man again

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
wrong man again
3
Sun, 12-14-2008 - 5:10pm

I always choose wrong man. I've been in relationship for the past ten years, with man who had been 2 times divorced. In both marriages had children. He never treats me right, and I am still with him. My daughter loves him, I don't know why, she never spend any time with him. I know that financial I am better off with him, and I got quilt fillings towards to my daughter. I think if I leave him, I might get depressed. I don't know how to say it

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: hella208
Sun, 12-14-2008 - 6:02pm

Welcome to the board hella208,


I have found that most women accept way less in a relationship when she doesn't feel worthy of something better and usually it is directly tied to her self-esteem.


Reading material to consider:


Loving Men More, Needing Men Less, by Judith Sills


Are You The One For Me? Barbara DeAngelis


Do Not Talk To, Touch, Marry, or Otherwise Fiddle with Frogs by Nailah Shami


Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse


How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon


The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: hella208
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 5:08pm

Welcome to the board,


I was in a relationship about 5 years ago now that I knew I needed to get out of, but I just couldn't. For me, it took something that was relationship ending. Which sadly was me sleeping with someone else. Anyways, you have to tell yourself that you deserve better and that you deserve to happy. It may take some time, but you will get up the courage to leave and have someone/something that will make you happy.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hella208
Mon, 12-15-2008 - 5:16pm

Relationships are complicated and it might be the best thing for you, right now, to go to see a well trained therapist to really understand what's going on in your situation, and how possibly to make things work. There may be issues you have not dealt with, communication skills you do not have? If you've been together for ten years, there's something between you that merits exploration. Your therapy will help you understand better and make the right choice.


Best wishes,