IS it only me?
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IS it only me?
| Wed, 12-17-2008 - 5:59pm |
Hi,
First time poster on this board. I am getting to a point in my relationship where I can see me disengaging and I want to save this before it gets worse and ends.
My husband and I just celebrated (I use that term loosely) our 3rd anniversary. We have 4 children. 2 together and I have

It is not only you.....
I had this exact same problem when I was with my ex. I believe a ton of men have this problem. They want the woman to do everything and we do for a while without complaining but then we realize we are doing everything and by that time we are pissed off. I realized he was just another person to take care of so, I had to let him go. Your situation is different because you have a few sweet babies to think of, I have one baby of my own. I think this is a common problem but one to which I have no solution. I hope for his sake he will see that it took two to make a baby and now it takes two to raise one. I just hope you don't decide to walk before he sees it. Maybe you should have him read this message board. Best Wishes....
Welcome to the board mommyto2_99,
When you need or want something done in the moment, do you ask every time? Or do you just expect him to know what needs to be done and do it?
You need to understand what ADHD is in order to help him.
Thanks GUYS! All of you had wonderful suggestions.
I am very clear about what I need in the moment and ahead of time. I always ask things like: "honey do you think you could handle the baby while I vaccuum?" Or " babe, I need the toilets cleaned and it doesn't seem like I am going to have time to get to it, can you do that real quick for me?" I always get a yes. I always get the, I am working on getting to that. But it never actually gets done. He will also get
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Your number one issue is to get him to realize how serious this situation is, that it is not fair and that by placing so much extra, unequal burden on you, he is seriously endangering the relationship. Tell him that you want to see a marriage counselor together and that it is extremely important for him to go. All of his good wishes are not creating any difference in his behavior and you need some professional help to work this out. ADHD or not, he can do certain tasks. This is not an excuse. He goes to work and does what is required of him. He cannot come home and be a child, playing games, turning you into the mother of all.
If he absolutely refuses to go to counseling with you, find someone and go yourself to get help with this difficult situation.
Best wishes,
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