need some advice!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
need some advice!!!!
6
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 1:24pm

Me and my boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship, and usually, we are able to get along and we are really into each other. Last night, we are on the phone and he was saying how much he wished I was hear so we could have some great sex on his airbed and I told him I especially like it when I put my legs on his shoulders (for the penetration) then all of the sudden he made a comment about how it's harder for him to do that now.


Photobucket
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 4:12pm

Rather than focus on your own hurt feelings, listen to what he is saying to you. Obviously, your weight gain really bothers him and he is trying to let you know how important it is to him, to the sexuality and other aspects of the relationship that you take it seriously. Let him know that you realize that it is difficult and are working hard to lose weight. That will put an end to it. And then make it a priority, rather than to feel sorry for yourself, to continue to eat right and exercise. The way a woman looks makes a big difference to most men.


All best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 10:11am

Welcome to the board misssweetmomsc,


I think you need to tell him exactly how his comments make you feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2008
Wed, 12-24-2008 - 11:34pm

I feel like he should be more understanding. It's much easier for men to lose weight and keep in shape. I believe their metabolisms are usually higher than most women. Further more, if he really cared he would realize that these comments hurt you and stop hounding you about it.


On the other hand, this could possibly be a sign of "male affection". Guys make digs on their closest friends all the time. It's how they "joke around" but they don't realize that when they make these same jokes to their girlfriends, it gets taken the completely wrong way.


Either way, he still needs to realize that these comments are hurting your feelings and that he needs to stop. I hope things improve for you!


Merry Christmas!!

--Carry
--Carry
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2008
Fri, 12-26-2008 - 9:29am
It's obvious that your weight gain has an impact on your relationship and will continue to be as long as you are together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2008
Fri, 12-26-2008 - 8:33pm
Thanks for the advice ladies, but I just broke up with him -I found out he was cheating on me the whole time we were together, so good riddance to him. I'm going to lose all the weight I've gained a find a hotter younger model who is a lot more understanding!
Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 12-27-2008 - 4:56pm

Welcome to the board misssweetmomsc,


At least you know the truth now and can move forward.