Awkward Situation Last Night
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Awkward Situation Last Night
| Sat, 12-20-2008 - 10:27pm |
My girlfriend and I have been together now for almost 4 years -- we're in a lesbian relationship.
| Sat, 12-20-2008 - 10:27pm |
My girlfriend and I have been together now for almost 4 years -- we're in a lesbian relationship.
sadeii, please put this in perspective. Your long-term girlfriend recently found out that her close family member is going to die of a terminal illness. You should understand something of what that feels like. You should also understand that everyone processes grief differently. It takes different amounts of time, it comes out to different family members at different stages. She cannot help when it happens that she's ready to say something. Maybe it felt more comfortable for her to be in the presence of many people rather than one.
Please don't make this about you. It's not about you. Don't ruin your relationship over this.
eggbertshootseggs--
I needed to hear that.
Hi Sadeii
I am not sure about this, but I was thinking about your situation. I wonder if your girlfriend did not want to tell you about this because
I understand your hurt, but I also understand not being able to talk about issues.
My experience isn't with HIV, it's about disability. You see, in the early days when my son was diagnosed with autism, I couldn't talk about it either. I had to process it myself before talking with others.
Even with continuing appointments, my mother would want to know what the Dr said but I always needed to process it first. In the end, my hubby would phone my mother because I just couldn't talk yet.
According to my dear friend who works in sexual health, HIV is no longer an automatic death sentence and won't necessarily progress to AIDS. Managed well, your girl's brother could live a long life.
Hi S
This brings back a memory for me.
The day
First I want to thank everyone who took the time to respond to my situation.
Hi sadeii,
I just wanted to welcome you to the board.
It is odd that she didn't let you know about this sooner, but it is also very shocking and troubling information, and some people go into denial and shock and it takes awhile for them to process it. The fact that she mentioned it at that dinner in the way she did was also odd and I can understand your upset about it, but I wouldn't generalize from this to everything about your relationship. This is a unique situation. Talk to her more about it. Work on other aspects of your communication. Is she able to share with you in general? Do you feel that she is cut off? If you care about each other, working on a problem is always best. It's easy enough to say good bye, but well worth the time and effort to understand more deeply what caused the upsetting event.
Best wishes,
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