How much time is normal at 10 months?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2005
How much time is normal at 10 months?
3
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 11:59pm

Hey folks,


Well I've posted MANY posts on my BF's intimacy issues and him going through a phase for the last month saying he doesn't know what he feels or whats, distancing himself and calling less (blah blah blah).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 12-24-2008 - 2:48pm

Lynne,


If you really need to spend more time with him, than you need to talk about this with him. However, you said spending time together has been an issue through your whole relationship so I don't see this as something changing right now. It sounds like he really isn't looking for anything that is going to take up much of his time. I could be wrong though.


When my DH and I were together for 10 months we had already decided to live together. After 10 months I would think things would naturally process into more time together if that was what he really wanted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 12-24-2008 - 10:54pm

Hi

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-26-2008 - 12:43pm

It sounds as though it's possible that he has not worked through all his issues from his upsetting divorce and is taking all new relationships lightly. Yes, by ten months things should be moving along. They're not. They're up and down, in and out. This is a pattern now. Unless he is truly ready for a more committed relationship, then the timing may be wrong for both of you. Sit down with yourself and decide what you want in a relationship. Then talk it over. It's not a matter of blaming or criticizing him, but being honest with yourself about your needs. If you want more time and closeness, that's fine and natural. If he doesn't, he doesn't. Don't hang around waiting for him. It's a big world out there, you're wasting your time. Go out, date and find someone who is ready for the same situation you are.


Best wishes,