I need advice..
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| Sat, 12-27-2008 - 7:27pm |
Okay.. So i've been dating this guy for 1 year and 5 months, and we got into a fight on his birthday, which just happened to be our 1 year and 5 month anniversary..
He was playing a game all night and we didn't hang out at all, but he promised he was coming up to my house later when I left his house so that we COULD hang out. I got mad, like i always do..and..
I said some things I didn't mean, but as always the little words count the most..
So I thought we had made up, because he seemed fine when he came to my grandma's for christmas the next day..
Then the day after christmas i was asking him if he loved me and everything and he said yes, etc. But then he said he had a lot of time to think, and doesn't want to break up but want's to 'talk' to other people and see if they interest him at all.. Well, see if they are as interesting to him as I am.. But he said no matter what we were going to stay best friends..
Also, later that night I was walking around outside and called him - he needed his phone charger so i brought it up to him (an excuse to see him obviously).. And he walked me back down to my house, but i told him i was going to be outside and he got really defensive and worried about me, saying he didn't want me outside at night with all the creeps and stuff out, and if i did stay out to PLEASE stay somewhere out of plain sight..
and it started raining and he's like " i would really like it if you went inside" and said he cared about me and everything..
I've been crying since yesterday about it, and he said we can still hang out and stuff but only as friends, even though technically we are still dating.. it's just so confusing and i don't know what to do or if i should do anything at all..
Should I try to fix it, or just wait and see if he finds anyone more interesting than me?
I'm so confused and none of my friends are helping..

How can you be dating but only engaging as friends?
dot, if he is serious about this, then the relationship is essentially over. He wants to keep you on hold while he looks for other people. This means, after a year and a half of dating you and being "in love" with you, he doesn't REALLY want to be with YOU. And by this point he should be 100% about you. What he wants is to have someone to come home to until he finds someone he likes better. And what if he didn't immediately find a girl who interested him more? Do you really think he would gain confidence in you? Definitely not - He'd still keep looking, or this would come up again in the future.
This is something that possibly could have been avoided - If you blow up at him a lot, get angry for a lot of things (really I don't blame you for being upset but he can spend his birthday whatever way he likes), and vilify him, his happiness factor with you is going to go way down. These are just suggestions, you didn't give much backgrounds so if the above are true then he's probably worn out from fighting. I can't help but see your stubbornness about staying outside in the rain as some desire to create drama, because I remember doing that when I was like 17 to make the guy I was in a fight with feel sorry for me. Be careful.
Either way this relationship isn't going to last. Please consider it over. My guess is that there's already a particular girl he's "talking to". You deserve better but you also deserve to learn from this.
Edited 12/28/2008 10:26 am ET by eggbertshootseggs
Welcome to the board dot0812,
Here's some reading material to consider:
Are You the One for Me? Barbara DeAngelis
Do Not Talk To, Touch, Marry, or Otherwise Fiddle with Frogs, by Nailah Shami