Hunting... need I say more??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
Hunting... need I say more??
6
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 4:25pm

Im new to this board, but not to Ivilliage.

 
   
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 4:53pm

Sadly I don't know much about parenting. But I did want to come here to validate your feelings. Your husband seems to be a hunter first, parent second, husband third. His individual WANTS are eclipsing your NEEDS as a couple. I don't blame you for being upset - if he was sick and in bed all day that's one thing but the burden fell on you completely for two days, it's not fair for him to keep the burden on you when you haven't slept so that he can have fun. It sounds as though he is uninterested in your plight because he is separating himself from his family and looking after his own interests (ugh.. MEN.. they can be so incredibly selfish and short-sighted).

However I understand his need for away time - is there any way he could better schedule this time? Can you get a baby sitter for a while or take the kids to your parents' house while you get some alone time too? Perhaps if you two can plan this together it would work out better. But I do think the real problem is his lack of concern for you. In what ways do you try to show your feelings to him? Remember that blowing up at him is not really constructive and it's not something he can respond to or relate to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 5:11pm

Wait a minute--"if I try to say anything to him about it, he turns is around on me... saying if I had a job then I could go out too... "--he's saying that you have to stay home with the kids 24/7 because you DON'T HAVE A JOB??

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 6:37pm

The balance is out of whack in your relationship. He needs to understand that your job is around the clock with no break. Yes, the financial burdens and stress and worry do fall on his shoulders but he has an outlet, like hunting, to help discharge that energy...where you do not.


You need to renegotiate new terms to your marital agreement.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 12:07pm
He says he knows staying at home with not only our kids, but 2 others, and trying to keep the house clean IS a job... but because Im not making as much money as him... then its not a REAL job.
 
   
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 12:44pm
Is working part-time a feasible option? I don't want you to feel like I'm taking his side but sometimes men do get resentful that they work hard to support their family and they don't realize that it is something of a job to stay at home with kids, too. I have a good friend who works 2 days a week and then is a stay at home mom the rest of the time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 01-04-2009 - 12:15am