Feel like a huge disappointment
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Feel like a huge disappointment
| Sat, 01-03-2009 - 6:55pm |
Hi. I'm new to iVillage. I just need to get some feelings out. I've been married to a small-town police officer for almost 4 years, we've known each other since we were little kids (we're now in our early 30s). I love my husband more than anything in the world. We reconnected after a 6 year relationship of mine ended and

If he is willing to divorce you because he missed out on a job position because...the whole scenario just wasnt right..then he is rather selfish.
I know I'm not perfect and neither is my husband. But I know he has x,y,z "problems" and I love him anyway. But lately many things I do really drive him crazy. For example, I get really stressed about not having any money right now and a significant amount of credit card debt so I tend to get on him sometimes about buying things he/we/the dogs don't really need. He told me recently that he finds this very controlling. I don't like to be a nag but I feel like it's my responsibility since I'm the one who got us into this financial situation, even if it's purpose was to improve my job satisfaction and salary.
He's been going to a counselor for a little while now starting this year. I probably should too, I just couldn't fit it in with school but now that I'm done maybe I will. I think we should go to marriage counseling but he thinks whoever the therapist is would pick sides (I disagree). Sometimes I wonder if his counseling has been what's changed him. Not that his therapist is telling him to leave me or anything, but that he's figuring out new things about himself and can't figure out how I fit in with the new him. I don't know. Sorry if I'm not making any sense!
Edited 1/3/2009 8:36 pm ET by wondergirl0905
We have discussed that I felt it was a joint decision, but I think he still views it as my decision.
In no way do I want to be my husband's mother, however he is not paying the bills all on his own. I cashed in 2 retirement accounts and took out $25K in supplemental student loans to replace my salary for the time I was in school. And the