how to talk to dh abt this w/out hurting
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how to talk to dh abt this w/out hurting
| Sun, 01-04-2009 - 4:55pm |
My husband has what I call a "public persona" and a "private persona". His public persona is quiet, polite, interesting and talkative. This is the face that he shows to everyone outside our home and the face he showed to me for the first few years of our dating and marriage. This is the person I fell in love with. His private persona on the other hand is a loud boisterous teasing grabbing guy who really he's harmless and just trying to have fun. He showed this side of himself to me in the beginning as well but only on occasion. He made me laugh and I liked this side of him. well guess what? This is the ONLY face he shows to me now. We can't talk about anything serious because he's constantly joking around, and always teasing me, and if I get upset about something he makes fun of me and laughs, he talks really loud in accents and jumps around the house scaring me and the pets, he is affectionate with me, but shows his affection the way a 9 year old boy would show it to a 9 year old girl, pulling my air, patting my bum, trying to put his hands down my pants, chasing me around the house. I'm having trouble dealing with this everytime I open the door to my house. I am afraid of coming home after work sometimes because I just want peace and quiet and to sit and talk with him about my day and cuddle gently, but as soon as I walk in, he puts on his "joker" face and starts manhandling me and speaking loudly and trying to constantly make me laugh. I just want to hide in a closet when I get home. He's doing nothing wrong, really, he's just trying to be a fun guy, but it's honestly destroying my happiness in the marriage but I know if I tell him he will be devastated and angry and is the type of guy who will then NEVER act like this again out of spite.
How can I express to him that I want some peace and quiet and don't want him to always be trying to make me laugh? help, I'm at my wit's end. When he leaves the house I'm at peace, and when he comes home I get tense.
How can I express to him that I want some peace and quiet and don't want him to always be trying to make me laugh? help, I'm at my wit's end. When he leaves the house I'm at peace, and when he comes home I get tense.

I like the previous response.
Does he ever have quiet times? Even very brief ones? If so, tell him how much you like this side of him.