How do I restart communication?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2008
How do I restart communication?
7
Mon, 01-05-2009 - 10:50pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. He had been living in a different country for five months when one night I called and asked what he thought of our relationship. Looking back I probably could have done it better - I was stressed from grad school and from not seeing him. He wasn't calling me as much as I was calling him and so I felt ignored I think. In any case I think I made him feel pressured in defining our relationship. He told me he still cares for me and wants to be with me. The distance is a challenge on our relationship. After that call he decided that we needed a break. It's been two months now and I haven't yet heard from him - he had said he was planning on visiting the US this month. I want to contact him. Is there a way to do it without causing more damage?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 01-05-2009 - 11:32pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2008
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 12:13am
Thanks. We had agreed to not contact each other for about two months time. If I am the first one to start contacting again is that a wise decision? I think it's strange that women have to be the one to wait for the guy to call.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 12:41am
I dont know if you should be the one to restart since he called for the break.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2004
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 9:25am

Generally I don't think it's always necessary to wait for the guy to call first, but in this instance I think since he wanted the break you should let him be the one to break the silence.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 9:53am

Let's say that you decide to wait for him to be the first one to call.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 12:10pm
He's sadly your ex-boyfriend. 'We need a break' really means 'I don't want to be with you anymore'. He made it very clear through both words and actions. Don't contact him and don't expect contact from him - he has moved on and so should do. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 01-06-2009 - 5:09pm

This may