Need some advice please
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Need some advice please
| Wed, 01-07-2009 - 8:57am |
Well... I've been in so much pain for about 5 years now. I was married for 3 years, now separated, and soon to be divorced. My ex husband was very controlling and verbally/emotionally abusive. He would put me down by calling me many inappropriate names. It got worse once I got pregnant and especially once our daughter was born. I took care of the house (in and out), a new baby and 2 dogs by myself. My ex started to look at porn more, he told me that I was ugly and he would rather look at other woman. He left many nights, telling me that he was going to pay for attention from other woman, and he wouldn't come home until 3am, while I was home attending to our daughter all night. It became so extreme that I couldn't take it. Between the abuse of him never happy with me and my body, telling me that I'm useless in this world. I was at a really low point in my life. I became so paranoid when we would go out, I didn't want him looking and seeking other women. I became so jealous because I was so insecure about the way I looked. I would act out and get upset at him for not paying attention to me and "gawking" at others. Now that I finally got the strength to leave him, and I've moved on to a new me, and in a wonderful new relationship, I still get so jealous and think that my boyfriend isn't fully happy with me, that I'm not good enough physically and I act out. I get so angry inside because I want to feel confident like I used to just before I got married. He tells me that he loves me, he has feelings for me which is the big thing and he doesn't want me to change and he is happy with the way I am. Why can't I believe him? He is a great guy but I keep thinking about how I've been mistreated in the past. My bf and I went to a bike show and there were barely dressed models all over the men at the show and giggling and he started looking and looking more than I thought was a glance and I got upset because I don't think he's happy with me and that he wants something more. He says no way, but I don't know what to think because in my mind I think about my ex husband that hurt me so much. I don't know what to do at this point. It makes me so upset to think about it, but I want to move on with this wonderful relationship I'm currently in. Any suggestions?? Please help me. Christine



Welcome to the board viperchicky,
Isn't carrying around that baggage from your marriage heavy?