Taking a break -but he's still calling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2008
Taking a break -but he's still calling?
4
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 9:43pm

Hi guys,


Well most of you probably remember me because all through the month of December. I wrote in posts entitled "having trouble committing and how can I get him interested again" about my boyfriend who was acting distant after dating 10 months (he's 37 and I'm 36).

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 12:29pm
Well, I had a guy tell me that he didn't want to be together anymore, etc, etc, and then he continued to call me. It was really confusing. Turned out all he wanted was to continue getting some "booty calls" until he found someone else. I am not saying this is for sure what he is doing, but just be careful.
Avatar for tobermory
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2001
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 3:19pm

Tell him the truth -- if you are broken up it would be healthier for you not to speak to him. On the other hand, if you are not, then he needs to start acting like a boyfriend. He can't have it both ways and you are not going to get over him if you keep in touch.

Tobermory

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 6:16pm

Firstly, I send condolences about your dad. I know how hard that is. Secondly, he should not keep calling if you're taking space. He's hanging on and also giving mixed messages, confusing the situation and not allowing you to let go and move ahead. Perhaps, as you say, he's afraid of really letting go, and by having this contact, he doesn't have to be with you and also doesn't have to go through the fear of losing you. But he should face the fact that you are taking a break, you are not with him, not always available, and he cannot have the comfort of speaking to you when he wants to. (He calls to give you comfort about your dad, but in fact, this is a way for him to receive comfort himself). A break is a break. Thank him for his concern and let him know that if you are on a break, it's better not to talk. It will work out better in the long run, you'll be able to let go of him and move forward, and possibly find someone new who can be there in the way you'd like.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 8:06pm

I know..I am faced with a similar situation.