Break up

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Break up
5
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 9:49pm
I decided to take a break from my boyfriend this past sunday and didn't expect him to be ok with it. I called him the next day and asked him how is he ok with this when he is the one that is not putting in any effort thats why i took a break in the first place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2008
In reply to: gal_ninny
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 10:56pm

I'm confused. I don't want to offend you but it just doesn't make sense to me. You made it clear in your post that the reason behind the break is because he doesn't put effort into the relationship yet you're surprised/upset that he's maybe enjoying the break? If he didn't put effort into the relationship when you're together, you can't be surprised when he still doesn't put effort into the relationship during the break.

He may also see the break as what it is: a break from you and the relationship. You obviously had ulterior motives and it backfired. You probably assumed that time away from you would make him wake up and realize he has a great thing and that he would be calling you and begging for the break to be over. Unfortunately, he's taking advantage of the break and doing whatever he wants.

Give it time. Wait until the break is over! That's the point of a break... to be apart so you can think things over and then discuss the relationship once the break is done.














Real love consists of only a few things: honestly, loyalty, and understanding. Within these can bring a love so powerful that nothing can break it.







3 years of bliss





3 years of bliss

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
In reply to: gal_ninny
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 12:02am
It would be best for you to move on. It is clear that he is enjoying his time being single and now..so should you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2009
In reply to: gal_ninny
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 1:00am

Hey girl, I don't want you to feel too bad about this. My ex bf and I broke up recently as well due to the same reason. and guess what, my ex just decided to not call me no more, didn't even give me a closure. He didn't treat me as his priority when we were together, he enjoyed hanging out with his friends, doing his own thing way more than hanging out with me for some reason. I didn't get it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: gal_ninny
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 4:24pm

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: gal_ninny
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 6:11pm

Sorry to say but it does sound like he's just not that into you, as you say. Let him go. If a guy really wants to be with you, he is. If he makes all kinds of excuses and puts everything else first, he's just holding you on a thread to be there when he might want you. It's not healthy and not respectful to you. Don't send anything to his apartment or contact him anymore. Just move forward and find someone who values you and who can give you the time and closeness you are hoping for.


Best wishes,