hes unhappy says its my fault and leaves

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
hes unhappy says its my fault and leaves
4
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 2:23am
Joe and I have been together 7years, engaged, have a 3yr old son in common and 15 &16 year old sons (1each) that live with us.
Everything happens for a reason........Curses are often blessings in disguise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 10:08am

He brings your relationship into the public and your response is to "SLUG" him?? He was drunk and didn't know what he was saying. Yes he acted like a complete fool but you took his bait...

He doesn't seem to have any real interest in saving this relationship. Sadly, it is for the best that you are not married. Can you tell me when these problems started arising? Has the therapist helped you at all, even on just an individual level?

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 1:33pm

It sounds to me as though the communication between the two of you has been really lacking for quite awhile. That said, unless both people are willing to work on the relationship, go to therapy, open up and talk about what they need and want, listen to and respect the other, there's no way to make a relationship work. He's being extremely immature and believes you should "know" how he feels without his telling you or working it through. However, the fact that you "slugged" him, is also not so wonderful. Both of you seem to be feeling very frustrated and at odds right now.


Unless he actualy wants to and is willing to work on the relationship there is nothing that can be done. You can tell him you love him, but feeling loved is something else. Do you know what he needs to make him feel loved? Does he? Has he told you? These are the things that have to be faced and handled together if there's a chance.


Best

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 3:49pm

Welcome to the board amynjoe7,


::He was angry and told me that I should have seen this coming and that if I "really" loved him we wouldnt be in this spot right now.


Sorry, but you aren't a mind reader and if that's the way he really believes, you aren't going to change his opinion. It's easier for him to blame you than it is for him to speak up and take responsibility for his part in the relationship. There were/are two people in the relationship. It's not all on you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 8:04pm
He wants to dump his sorrows and problems onto you - not good.