CELL PHONE
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 01-13-2009 - 2:49pm |
HI ALL,
ITS BEEN AWHILE THAT I HAVE POSTED AND NEEDED ADVISE AND HELP WITH MY RELATIONSHIP.
MY BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN HIDING HIS CELL PHONE LATELY. HE USED TO JUST LEAVE HIS PHONE IN THE KITCHEN OR IN THE LIVING ROOM.
LATELY, HIS BEEN SLEEPING WITH IT OR LEAVE IN IN HIS PANTS AND HIS PANTS WOULD BE NEXT TO HIM ON THE FLOOR OR TAKE IT WITH HIM WHILE HE TAKES A SHOWER.
I CAUGHT HIM CHEATING BEFORE. GAVE HIM A CHANCE. WORKED OUT OUR RELATIONSHIP. THEN AFTER A YEAR, I CAUGHT HIM THRU HIS CELL PHONE TALKING TO 3 GIRLS... AND IM STILL WITH HIM.
AFTER THE 3 GIRLS THAT HE WAS TALKING WITH, HE;'S BEEN VERY GOOD. WOULD LEAVE HIS PHONE EVERWHERE AND I WOULD GO THRU HIS PHONE. HE WOULD BE ANNOYED BUT HE WOULD LET ME.
NOW HIS DOING IT AGAIN. HIDING AND TAKING HIS PHONE WITH HIM. HE TOLD ME THAT HE GETS ANNOYED AND PISSED OFF THAT IM GOING THRU HIS PHONE. HE DOESNT LIKE IT. HE ALSO DELETED ALL THE CALL HISTORY, HIS TEXT MESSAGES AND HIS EMAILS ON HIS PHONE.
REGARDLESS WITH ALL THESE, I STILL LOVE HIM BUT IM TIRED WITH ALL THE LIES.
IM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY WHAT DRIVES HIM TO DO THIS TO ME. HE TELLS ME THAT HIS NOT TALKING TO ANYONE. THAT HIS NOT CHEATING OR DOING ANYTHING WRONG. BUT JUST THE FACT THAT HE SLEEPS AND HIDES HIS PHONE MAKES ME THINK OTHERWISE.
PLEASE HELP.

"IM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY WHAT DRIVES HIM TO DO THIS TO ME."
Although I've never cheated, what I've been told by cheaters is that things become stale and that's what leads them to wander. If a couple has been together for awhile the relationship becomes routine. Is it possible he's bored? Is your sex life not exciting enough for him, are you doing the same things every time you're intimate? People need change, people need spice in their life. When it comes to cheaters it's all about excitement. Make him excited to be with you. Make him look forward to coming home to you. Don't let your relationship just be routine. Boredom leads to searching for new and exciting things in life.
Real love consists of only a few things: honestly, loyalty, and understanding. Within these can bring a love so powerful that nothing can break it.
3 years of bliss
"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead."
"Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved."
"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."
3 years of bliss
Hi, could you please take your caps lock off?
Hi sascha2006,
::HE TOLD ME THAT HE GETS ANNOYED AND PISSED OFF THAT IM GOING THRU HIS PHONE. HE DOESNT LIKE IT. HE ALSO DELETED ALL THE CALL HISTORY, HIS TEXT MESSAGES AND HIS EMAILS ON HIS PHONE.
Poor him. He cheated and HE doesn't like you going though his phone.
Hello All,
I apologize for the CAPS. I wasnt aware that this can be interpreted as shouting. Now i know... =)
thank you for your responses.
As far as i know, our sex life is not even close to being a boredom. We try a lot of new things. We are both very open and like to experiments with other couples/females and have some clean fun.
We went to counseling before. he is aware and admitted that he needs to help me gain my trust back. I told him that one of them is to let me go thru his phone at least this way, he is showing me that he is not hiding anythhing to me at all. he agreed.
but with whats been happening lately, his excuse of "getting pissed off and not liking the idea i go thru his phone" is not acceptable at all. his been hiding his phone, just like before. his been working out harder and longer... again, just like before.
i love him. but i know im ready to leave and move on. been cheated too many times. but not again.
You don't trust him, so why are you with him? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life waiting to find that he's cheating again?
I think you deserve more than that.
Personally, I think that's a lousy excuse to cheat (I realise you are just repeating what others have told you and you personally don't think this way :o))
If a person is bored in their marriage, it's THEIR responsibility to do something about it! Saying 'you're not exciting enough for me' is such a cop out when the real reason for cheating is a lack of self control, honesty and respect for one's spouse.
JM2C :o)
I agree! I've never cheated and honestly couldn't imagine cheating on my boyfriend so it's hard for me to try and see through the eyes of a cheater which is why I stated what one cheater told me. Every cheater is different and all of their reasons are different. I see your point and I agree about the lack of self control. Every single one of us has fantasies, but it takes real love to just keep those thoughts as fantasies and not act on them. Some people just don't have enough respect for their loved one to keep from acting on those feelings and fantasies. ::sigh:: I always try and see everyone's POV but it's so hard when I see love the way I do and it seems so many people take "love" for granted. I hate people that say they love someone and lie straight to their face and then go behind their back and do the things they do.
Real love consists of only a few things: honestly, loyalty, and understanding. Within these can bring a love so powerful that nothing can break it.
3 years of bliss
"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead."
"Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved."
"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."
3 years of bliss
Unless you have trust in your relationship, unless you know that he is honest with you and you with him, your relationship cannot grow on a secure foundation. Some men are addicted to lying and cheating (and some women as well). I don't know what's actually going on with your boyfriend, but the basic fact is you have to be able to trust him. The two of you have to discuss this openly and you must be able to feel satisfied in your heart that he is being honset. If you can't, if you feel you have to snoop and check up on him, that is bad for both of you. Sit down with him and have an open discussion. If you can't get to the bottom of it, see if he'll go to a counsellor with you. If not, go yourself and talk all this over. You can't go on with so much suspiciousness and unrest.
Best wishes,
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
Save Your Relationship: The 21 Basic Laws Of Successful Relationships
Change The Way Women Think About Men and Find Out What Men Really Think About Relationships
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.