Did I screw up?
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| Tue, 01-20-2009 - 1:37pm |
hello there,
i am in a really screwy place right now and I'm not sure where to go next? my husband and i have been together for 11 years..we have 2 sons. we were married 4 1/2 years ago. i knew at the time that getting married wasn't gonna solve any of our problems but i thought it might help. there has been alot of cheating..done on his part, i have remained faithful. he use to be physically abusive to me which has stopped but now instead it's verbal. he doesn't put his family first..it's always his personal gains...wether it be a new TV...or something for HIS computer. so for the past year we have been bickering back and forth, mainly because of his lack of responsibilities, he never does anything. i was like a single mom with 3 kids (him being one of them) he has never done anything for himself. i was the stay at home wife..with a job...i work late nights at the hospital 4 nights a week.
we started marriage counseling..which did not go well. he basically sat there and told me that all of his abuse in the past including physical, verbal, and cheating was partially my fault because i LET him do it? i guess i did because i stayed..but either way he said he wasn't willing to change or to compromise anything, so i said i was gonna leave.
so 2 days after Christmas all of me and my kids stuff went into storage while he cleaned house and took everything with him to his new place. (the one i helped him look for). since then we have stopped seeing the marriage counselor because i don't think it was a good fit..we have an upcoming appt with one in a few weeks.


"i knew at the time that getting married wasn't gonna solve any of our problems but i thought it might help. "
Since you asked...I thought I'd highlight the sentence that answers your question.
thanks for the insight...hopefully he is a better man and can return to his family.
Welcome to the board tracee0213,
I don't think you screwed up. I think you made the right decision for yourself and your children.
Malcolm Gladwell Blink
He's abusive.