Negative effect

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Negative effect
82
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 3:00am

One of the things I have to do to find my best life is find out what it is I like and don't like and what I can do to achieve what I like and resolve what I don't like.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2006
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 4:53pm

Wow, you are making me think and that makes my head itch.

Molly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-10-2006 - 9:25pm

  1. I need to start being more positive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 6:10am

Hi Judy: I love the board, discovered it via P's comment about it elsewhere.

What is it that I don't like, that needs resolved.

I have been working on eating less these past 28 days so I finally lose what I gained 2 years ago from being on prednisone a good 9 months. So gradually working on that one.

And still have a few things to finish in therapy before ending it here in a few months. Therapist has gently been pointing out to me, I defer to dh too much. Yes, happy couples compromise, but happy couples also recognize their own needs and wants and speak up too.

great board Judy and your co-cl! love, Josie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 10:54am

I need to be more confident about my talents and abilities, and have confidence that I will succeed. And try not to sabotage myself, either. I think that a lot of the procrastination stems from a huge fear of success. For such a long time, I believed that happiness and success were two things that I was not allowed to have. If they happened, it was a huge fluke of the universe and would be taken away from me as soon as it was realized that I was successful and/or happy.


I remember a brunch with friends a few years ago. I was working on a website, and I had a really good concept. People were asking me what it is I was working on, and I just clammed up, refusing to talk about it, mumbling an answer. My then BF was upset with me. He couldn't understand why. It dawned on me then that I believed that if I talked about it it would just jinx everything. Not that I was superstitious, but that I didn't believe in myself at all.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 5:32am

''Why can't I just be me and not give a fig about what others think, care, say, etc?

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 5:37am

Thanks Ann for your honesty, it seems somehow easier to list the things that need changing and not as easy to list the things that are already assets, why is that I wonder?

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 5:42am
Thank you Josie, I am so glad you came over to check the board out.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 5:51am
Poppy I saw from another thread that you have made a decision to resume working on your talents and abilities.

Judy

cl-ivhjude

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 2:23pm

I have issues with self-esteem and self-confidence. I have huge problems with displaying my work. Years ago when I was asked to write an article for a magazine supplement (the magazine the leading news magazine in this country), I had to be prodded and dared into writing it (the editor said that if I were really my paternal grandfather's grand-daughter, then I could write, write well and write in Indonesian. It was in the genes, or so he claimed). I was afraid to offer an opinion, and doing so in a media that would be read nationally was not a comfortable place to begin learning to practice my voice. I hid the week after the magazine came out, and laid low for another couple of weeks. I barely answered calls. I peeked at my email.


I am afraid that people will find me stupid and shallow.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-12-2006 - 4:29pm

Yuck...I'm not sure I like this question...LOL.

I'm a control freak. I tend to want to do things a certain way and it bugs me if they're not done that way. I know part of it is a mild case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, but the other part is an irrational belief that if I can control the exterior things, then the interior things will also be in control.

I'm fully aware of when I'm being controlling (of course!) and I try to let it go when I can...especially when it comes to DH. For instance, I don't rearrange the dishwasher anymore after he loads it and I don't follow him around (surreptitiously) and inspect his work after he's cleaned the bathrooms or vacuumed or other wonderful chores like that.

But I still have problems letting go of trying to control events or activities or other things that I (in all honesty) really have no control over anyway. The only thing that happens is that I get frustrated because I can't control it...LOL.

CC

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